Divorce and scandals – how to share friends when everyone has its own truth?

Survive a divorce and at the same time save good relationships with all your friends – the right tips of the site Lady-Magazine.COM that help peacefully divide friends

Despite the fact that every third married couple is divorced in modern society, this unpleasant period of life remains a pretty heavy event for any person. Read: How to save marriage just 2 minutes a day? In addition to the section of property and children, the divorce for many steam is connected with the loss of general friends. Therefore, today we decided to talk about communicating with common friends after divorce.

How to share friends after a divorce? Data of sociological research

If you decide to divorce, be prepared for the fact that you will part not only with your husband, but also with part of common friends. Read, also, how to apply for divorce and How to survive.

According to the results of sociological research, Relationships with shared friends will change drastically: someone will face her husband, and someone will support you. But, anyway, you will find that you have friends less, at least 8 people. At the same time, not always the initiators of the termination of relations become exactly friends. During the survey, every 10th said that he himself broke the contacts, since he was tired of responding to constant questions about divorce, and his psychological state.

However, the fact remains the fact that after parting with the spouse, most people have The list of friends varies significantly. And to this you need to be ready.
When conducting a survey among 2000 people who parted with their partners, to the question – «How do you have relationships with common friends?» – The following answers were obtained:

• 31% They said that they were unpleasantly surprised by how the divorce was reflected in relations with friends;
• 65% Respondents said that their common friends after the divorce support relationships only with the former spouse (oh). At the same time, 49% of them are very distressed by the fact that they lost their old friends, because they began to simply avoid them, without explaining any reasons;
• 4% surveyed, just stopped communicating, as relationships with friends became very tense.

Section of friends after a divorce: Psychologist’s opinion

Quite often such a situation occurs when Former spouses «Doll» common friends. And although it seems that they divided themselves, in fact it is not. We ourselves begin to communicate more often with those who allegedly sympathize with us, and stop maintaining contact with those who became on the side of the former husband.

And after all, people close to you, with whom for many years you have been set about relationships, also after your divorce find themselves in a difficult situation. Therefore, many try to stick to neutrality, because each of the former spouses of their roads in their own way. Most of the friends simply do not know how to behave in the current situation, what to say not to seem tactless and not offend anyone.

Therefore, dear women, be wise: There are friends, and there are just common acquaintances. It will take time and everything will be in place. Communicate, invite to yourself and go to visit to those people who are close to you who will not once again discuss your former spouse, especially in the presence of children. And then Your life will work out.

How to share friends after a divorce: Real stories from life

Polina, 40 years old:
After the divorce has already passed quite a long time. But I still have common friends with my spouse, who even immediately after our parting left the right to invite us to visit at the same time. It was for this reason that such an unpleasant situation occurred.
Calls me a girlfriend and says «Colive and come». We have not seen yourself for a long time, so I did not think for a long time. And here, I’m there, and my former spouse also arrived, and he brought his new passion (because of which there was a divorce).
I have some unpleasant feelings, and the atmosphere in the room is quite tense. Although I try not to bother, I understand that I can’t get pleasure from communication with friends. And here this woman is starting «Pick up» My former. It strokes him in the cheek … Manerno falls on the chest … It seems to be even funny, but inside and hurts … In my head pictures about our lucky marital life pop up, and with them a feeling of pain and betrayal.
So it turns out that the friends of the road, and the company, such as before there is no more. And how to get out of the current situation do not know. Shared his experiences with the girlfriend, what she answered me «You are an adult woman!»

Irina, 35 years old:
My husband and I lived for four years. We have a shared child. Therefore, after a divorce, we have a normal relationship have been preserved not only with him, but also with his parents, and our common friends. We often convened, communicated.
But when I had a new relationship, I began to give away from friends. They call, invite to visit. But I won’t go there well, and I can’t talk new husband, because there will be my former spouse. So I only ruin all the holiday, and the atmosphere will be very tense.
Therefore, my advice to you, being in a similar situation, decide that for you more expensive, past or new life.

Luda, 30 years old:
I had two girlfriends before the wedding, with whom we are together from school. Over time, we all got married and began to be friends with families, we often met, went to picnics. But this is the black strip of my life – divorce.
After my husband and I dreamed, I called my girlfriends, invited to visit, to sit in a movie or just to sit in a cafe. But they always had some excuses. And after the next failed meeting, I go to the store for products. I see near the showcases with alcohol, my former, with his new «Love». I think I will not approach, why spoil yourself mood. But here I notice that another couple came up, looking at it, I understand that this is my girlfriend Natasha, with my husband, and behind them and Sveta with a cavalier pulls up.
And then I dares me: «for me they never have time, but with my former time to communicate». And here I understood what happened. Lonely girlfriend, better to keep away from my own husbands. After that, I stopped calling them.
I hope that someday I will have real friends.

Tanya, 25 years old:
After the divorce, the friends of the husband, who, subsequently, became common with me ceased to communicate. What to hide, I didn’t really want to support relationship with them. In their eyes, I became a bitch that kicked the poor guy to the street. And my friends were all left with me.

Vera, 28 years old:
And after the divorce, I had a rather interesting situation. Common friends with whom the husband introduced me, remained with me. They supported me in a difficult moment, and became very close people for me. And with my former they broke the contacts. But this is not my guilt, I did not configure anyone against him. My hubby and not mistaken, showed himself from «Best» Parties.