How to save marriage just 2 minutes a day?
Family relationships are spoiled due to non-infractions and time deficit for each other. Effective exercise “hugs” will help to cope with the conflict in the family.
If you have just a few minutes a day, we will tell you how to make your marriage lasted eternity. It is not joke! If you are worried about your marriage (even if you are not worried), these simple tips will help you strengthen the marriage bonds.
See also: 10 simple, but very important rules of wise wives – as it is to become a wise wife?
Save communication
You do not have the feeling that you are moving away from each other? Family couples lead a fairly active life that, sometimes, they simply do not have time to be together truly. Even when they are chosen on dates, go to the cinema, meet with friends, it does not give them opportunities again and again recognize each other, fall in love with each other. Time for each other is moving on the last point of urgent deeds to solve, which are known to be endless. However, without this personal connection, insignificant irritation can turn into a huge conflict. But, while irritation is slightly, you can still fix.
Relationships require constant work on them
But if you attach a few minutes a day to this, then they will not seem such a routine work. Next exercise
will help restore the connection to a pair with even the most saturated schedule. It takes only 2 minutes a day, so it can be squeezed into any schedule. And if you think to perspective, it is quite effective (divorce design is much more forces and time)! Exercise is called «Hugging».
Consider an example: Olga and Mikhail – married couple with 20-year marriage. They have two adult sons. Both are working, have their own hobbies and interests, pretty successful in their professional regions. They meet with friends, walk on family holidays, and also drive family. You ask: «And what is the problem here?». All simple. Olga says that when they and her husband stay together (alone), they talk about work, children and politics, but do not talk about personal.
From the side it seems that Olga and Mikhail are a happy marriage. But in fact, Olga complains that they and Mikhail are developing at a distance, as if in parallel. They do not talk about their fears, experiences, desires, dreams for the future, about their love and sympathy. Meanwhile, their unresolved conflicts leave offense in the heart, and the unspecified anger grows. Without a love conversation, there is no balance for negative experiences, they simply do not speak, and accumulates, and in the meantime the marriage collapses in the eyes.
How the exercise works «Hugging»?
This exercise solved the problem of this pair, and its meaning is that the necessary space is created to express their emotions without affecting the emotions of the partner.
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Take a posture.
Sit on the sofa or on the bed (floor) so that your faces are directed in one direction, while someone from you is behind the other (looks in the back of the head). The meaning is that while alone says, the other hugs him from behind and listens. While one partner says, the other should not answer! - Share your thoughts and feelings. Since one partner does not see the face of the other, and also does not exchange «courtesies», The first partner (who says) can express everything that has accumulated in his soul. And this is not necessarily something negative. You can say whatever: about what happened at work; about children’s dreams and memories; that wounded in the act of a partner. At first it can just be joint silence. You can just sit silently, feeling the arms of the partner, its presence, support. You can use your 2 minutes as you wish. You have «Captive» the audience that cannot answer you and be sure to listen.
- No discussion. After one partner spoke, there should be no discussion of the situation (heard). On the other day you change in places. The main rule that cannot be disrupted – do not discuss the heard under any circumstances. Even if one of you considers it unfair or false. It is also necessary to change places at least once a week, ideally each of you should change 2-3 times. And, of course, follow the rule 2 minutes.
- This is not a prelude! And remember that by performing this exercise, you are trying to restore first of all the spiritual connection between you. Therefore, do not perceive this exercise as a prelude to love classes. No matter how much your desire, transfer love to another time.
How it worked for Olga and Mikhail?
A week later, the couple came to the reception to a family psychologist and shared the impressions of the exercises. Mikhail said: «It was very difficult to start, I really believed that something would work out of this. But we threw the lot and I fell a chance to spoke first. I really captured this situation. I told Ole that I am angry with the fact that when I come from work, she is engaged in cooking dinner, children, work, telephone conversation and other. She can’t even really felt. And I was surprised and pleased at the same time that she did not defend, as usual, and heard to the end. However, yet this silence returned me to my childhood. I remembered how I came home from school, and my moms were there and I had no one to share». Next, Mikhail added: «The next time I told her how I am pleased to feel her arms, because we did not do this long ago. It turns out, just sit, hugging, can be very nice».
Mikhail talks about changes in their personal life: «Now, when I come home from work, I first hear friendly «Good evening dear!» from my wife, even if she is busy at the same time. And the most pleasant thing she began to hug me for no reason. How to realize well that you can get something without giving before that».
In turn, Olga, smiling, talks about his feelings: «What he asked was not so much a huge step for me. Funny, because I did not gave it to such a greeting so as not to strain him. Once again tried not to take time for himself, and sometimes I was just afraid of his reaction. Despite the fact that he said, I thought a lot, how to put him and cheer up, but did not decide to take something. So I liked this exercise, I finally found out that he wants my beloved». Olga says about his turn in the exercise: «When my turn came to talk, I was so excited, because I knew that I could say everything that kept in the shower, while I was listening and did not go».
Now Mikhail and Olga look at each other with a tender smile: «We both like being and those who hugs, and those who hug. And we would like to do «Hugging» Our family tradition».
This is how this exercise changed the relationship in the family of Olga and Mikhail. Maybe it will seem to you a frivolous, inactive, stupid. But you will not know until you try. After all, the old destroy is simple, but the new to build is not easy. Do you really want to keep your relationship and go to another level, because due to the fact that the couples do not talk and do not hear each other, many strong unions disintegrate. And it was worth just to talk to souls.
Interesting video on the topic:
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