Family conflicts and children: Negative consequences of conflicts in the family for a child

What is the effect of family conflicts for a child? Read on Lady-Magazine.com all about the consequences of conflicts in the family, as they reflect on children. Family conflicts and children: consequences of family conflicts

Unfortunately, in the heat of the family ssor, parents do not think about what their child is feeling at the moment. At the same time, the oppressive emotional atmosphere, when they quarrel (and sometimes fighting!) Two of his closest and loved ones, has a huge pressure on the rapid children’s psyche, putting a huge imprint on everything that the child does now, and what it will be in the future.

The main models of the behavior of children in family conflicts – how your child behaves during conflicts in the family?

The behavior of a child in conflicts occurring in a family depends largely on its age, temperament, self-esteem, stress resistance, activity and sociability.

Psychologists allocated The main models of the behavior of children in family conflicts:

• Child buffer.
  This child is unknowingly or deliberately trying to smooth all sharp corners or reconcile parents. All experiences that he experiences, sooner or later, are poured into his illness, which are conditionally desirable, because distracting everyone from continuing a quarrel. Very often, such a child develops a serious disease – bronchial asthma, eczema, or a whole series of colds. Frections also violations of the neurological plan – Restless sleep and difficulty with falling asleep, nightmares, enuresis, stuttering, nervous ticks or obsessive movement syndrome.
  If your child often sick or he has any violations of health – Analyze the situation in the family. Maybe you will find the root of all his ailments in frequent quarrels and, of course, try to bring it to no, for the sake of the health of your beloved baby. Read so much: What to do if the child often sick?
• The child falls on the side of a weaker parent.
  Such a child tries to protect a weaker parent in family conflicts, getting up on his side and completely boycotting another parent.
  If your family is often experiencing quarrels and conflicts, and such behavior is typically for your child, in the future it is will cause persistent failures in the personal life and the formation of an improper image of his adult role.
• The child goes into herself.
  Such a child takes a neutral position in family conflicts, trying not to take part in them. It may internally experience his inability to settle these conflicts, but externally does not show emotions, becoming distant from loved ones, distancing more and more from the family, going into their loneliness and not launching anyone in the inner world. Such a baby is very It will be hard to adapt in any children’s team, and then – in society, frequent satellites will be Depression, uncertainty, fears, reduced self-esteem. In adolescence, such children become uneconomic and closed, and often find the consolation that is prohibited – smoking, drinking, drugs, departures from home and T.D.

There is an opinion that only those conflicts in the family have negatively affect the child, which occurred with it.

But psychologists pay the attention of parents to the fact that Children are able to deeply worry even hidden conflicts between parents who are not poured into an external quarrel or accusing each other, but for a long time in the family alienation and cold in relations.

Such «Cold War» Possible graveyard the child’s psyche, giving rise to the same problems we talked about above.

The consequences of conflicts in the family for the future adult life of the child

1. Children who often experienced conflicts in the parent family, in their adult life have intrapersonal conflict and understated self-esteem, With any stressful situations often experience depression and insecurity, they often develop neurosis.
2. A child from a conflict family Specific character traits are formed, preventing its socialization In adulthood: closure, aggressiveness, indifference, cruelty in relation to others, full of indifference.
3. While experiencing family conflicts in a child The scenario of behavior in his own family is formed.That is, such a child often takes a parent family for a sample, which will apply in his own family, and conflicts in it will also be frequent.
4. The child has a negative picture of the world, And it significantly worsens the quality of his own adult life in the future. Such a person will not believe anyone, he will be very difficult in communicating, full of pessimism and cynicism.
5. Children from families experiencing frequent conflicts can be very embittered, aggressive, cruel in adult life. Such children do not understand someone else’s pain, and many of them have traction to hurt others. The child may simply reach the illegal sides of life, crime the law, to make unlawful cruel deeds, often – unmotivated, with respect to other people.

Family conflicts and children: how to avoid the negative effect of a child quarrel?

To prevent the negative consequences of family conflicts for a child, You must resort to advice who give qualified psychologists:

• Try not to quarrel at all. This Council involves the revision by parents of its behavior, clarify the most common cause of quarrels and getting rid of it. The Council is more used by the parents who wish to work on themselves and their relationships, and also do not want their child to receive a negative in the family. Wrong such a goal, parents can save the child from all the above problems and experiences, and at the same time – to strengthen the family and their relationship with each other.
• If the quarrel is inevitable, then parents must try find out the relationship without the presence of a child. Of course, it is necessary to use the conflict rules in order not to aggravate it, but, on the contrary, exhaust at all.
• In no case attack each other with criticism and accusations. In this case, the conflict will only grow like a snowball. See also: How to quarrel?
• Threats to each other – it is a tab for conflicts in general. Remember that children are maximalists, and all your words they take on faith, for clean truth, and their imagination can paint your threats to monstrous sizes, which will cause stress at a small person. Threatening each other with a child or threaten the child – it means to break his rapid psyche.
• If the family conflict is still the form of a dispute, then try not to develop it. In the dispute, it is necessary to clearly give arguments, call the problem, speak frankly and necessarily – listen to the other side. If parents are possessing the art of disputes, then there will be no conflicts in the family, and naturally their consequences for the child are also.
• If the child suddenly witnessed the conflict between his parents, it is very important – talk to him, ask what he feels and feels.
• Child must say that his mother and dad love him, and the argument that happened in no case will not destroy the family, and will not change the parental love for the child.
• Forbidden reception – criticize the child of another parent, negatively talk about him, set up a child against him. Such parental behavior when a child is an instrument and a quarrel participant, rigidly breaks the children’s psyche and gives a small man with a mass of complexes and experiences that are simply unbearable for a children’s soul.

Being a parent is a great art who learn throughout life. Parents should find the opportunity constructive solution of all arising disputes between them, and in no case attract a child.

If you love your child, then, first of all, you will take care of his spiritual comfort and well-being, and their ambitions are dumping, not allowing them to grow into confrontation.