Rules of a quarrel, or how to swear to swear without prejudice to the relationship
How to swear with my husband? Read on Lady-Magazine.COM Important Rules Quarrel. Find out about the taboo in quarrels – what can not talk and do in quarrels?
Any woman is capable «sculpt» From her husband, all that will do it, like out of melting plasticine. And the tools for this nature gave the most effective – affection, tenderness and love. True, not everyone has enough strength or desire to take advantage of these tools. As a result – a quarrel with her husband cannot be avoided.
Quarrels happen in any family, but they do not lead to the collapse of the family boat, but behavior in their process. How to quarrel with the spouse and what to do is categorically impossible?
How to swear with my husband: taboo in quarrels that can not break
If quarrels happen every day – this is a reason to review their relationships and your behavior. As a rule, such a family is doomed to divorce. Read: How to understand that love has passed and the relationship ended?
How to avoid mistakes, which may you cost long marriage? To begin with – remember what is taboo in quarrels.
Rules that violate categorically impossible
- It is impossible to criticize my second half. Men’s pride is more vulnerable than women’s. If you feel that from the language is about to come up – «Always you all spoil!», «Where do you just grow hands!», «I can’t read the crane!», «Again stood up like a clown!», «Yes, you are not capable of anything!» and pr. – Consider up to 10, calm down and forget these offensive words for her husband. The men who are proud of, grow wings, and in a man who is always criticized, all wishes disappear, including the desire to return home. See also: What should never talk to a man?
- Women «stuff», like Swimming Eye, Frying, Unknown Dust Coffins, Khamsky «Shots» and pr. – This is an expression of contempt, which acts on a man, like on a bull – a red rag.
- Dead silence, ice silence and flaking doors – Do not punish «Unsless» husband and not make him think. In most cases, everything will be exactly the opposite.
- Never Do not let yourself quarrel with a spouse with outsiders (and loved ones too).
- Categorical taboo on insults and humiliation of male dignity. This, even the most ideal man can not withstand.
- Never remember old resentment and do not compare your husband with other men.
- Do not find out the relationship if you both (or someone one) – in A state of alcoholic intoxication.
- Never end the quarrel flaking doors or weekly silence.
The main rules of the quarrel: how to swear correctly?
Compare men’s and feminine psychology – the point is ungrateful. The cause of a quarrel often becomes a simple misunderstanding. The husband is angry due to the coldness of his wife, the wife – because he does not understand her, and in the end, all the accumulated problems mercilessly fall apart on each other.
But the family is patience and big daily work. And someone must give up. If the spouse is a wise woman, it will be able to pay off in a timely manner or prevent conflict.
What you need to remember the quarrels?
- Warn the quarrel is easier than dealing with its consequences. Feel – the storm is about to get used, and the flow of claim will splash – let the spouse release steam. Do not defend, do not attack, hold off the imaginable words to the answer – Listet and reasonably answer calmly and argued.
- If you have a claim to my husband, then the worst option is to present them during a quarrel. Dissatisfaction to smoke in yourself can not, otherwise it will cover your family a snowball. But it is necessary to solve problems, as you know, as they accumulate. There was a problem? Decide her immediately – calmly, without screams, without distrust, attacks and contempt. Perhaps your problem is the fruit of your imagination. Since you live with this person, it means you trust him? And if you trust something, there is no need to go along the path of maximum resistance.
- Family life is constant compromises. Without them it is impossible to coexist peacefully. Therefore, any questions (Idea whether disagreements or other) decide argued, linked to its point of view and explaining the benefits of its. And do not be afraid to speak directly – men hints do not like and, as a rule, do not understand. Example – holiday gift. Phrase «Oh, what kind of earrings are beautiful» The man most likely will miss past the ears, and the phrase «That’s the same!» will adopt as a guide to action. And then there will be no such problem as a resentment for her husband for his inattention.
- If the quarrels could not be avoided, remember – never say words about which you can regret, And do not beat «Patients with places». Consider emotions. Throw out the negative and burn negative feelings in other ways (sport, manual work, etc.).
- You choose the design form of dialogue – Offer options for changing the situation, but do not blame the spouse that happened. First, it is meaningless (which happened – it happened, it was already the past), secondly, reproaches – a step back in the relationship.
- Do not know how to present claims without emotions? Write them on paper.
- Apply the method «Delayed start» (like in a slow cooker). Set as explanation of relationships per hour (day, week). When you cool and calmly think about the situation, it is quite possible that it will be enough to find out – the problem exhausts itself.
- Look for a problem in yourself. Do not dump all sins of the world on a spouse. If in the family of a quarrel, both are always to blame. Try to understand the husband – what exactly he is unhappy. Maybe you really stand something to change in yourself?
- If you feel that the quarrel dragged into – Make the first step towards meet. Even if you refuse to admit your guilt – give your spouse to emphasize your man’s status, which is always right. Let him think so. No wonder there is a phrase «Man – Head, Wife – Neck». Twist this «Head» where you need.
- A man should always feel that you love him. Even during a quarrel. You are one, do not forget about it. Read: How to return the passion in relation to my husband?
- Do not go on «you», Speak from yours «I». Not «You’re guilty, you did not, you did not call ..», but «I unpleasant, I do not understand, I worry ..».
- Humor is the best assistant in any hard atmosphere. Not sarcasm, not irony, not dedication! Namely humor. He quarrels any quarrels.
- Learn to stop in time, recognize your wrongness and ask for forgiveness.
- To the tenth time they tell him the same thing, and he does not hear you? Change tactics or finish the conversation.
Remember: Your spouse not your property. He is a man with his ideas about this life, and he is a man. You love children like that were born? Love and husband like it is.
The ideal formula of marriage is to perceive the spouse as a friend. If your friend is angry, nervous, shouts, you do not send it in response to the list of failures and failures in your relationship? No. You calm it, fed and say that everything will be fine. Husband must also be a friend, which will understand and reassure.