Husband and child – an unexpected problem ..

For a woman, a family without a child is not a family. But men often laugh with a similar situation, and even find pleasure in it. How to convince her husband to start common children?

The refusal of a man to acquire offspring often for a woman unexpected. Well lived, plans for the future were built, and when they, in the opinion of the woman, were fulfilled – suddenly the spouse refuses to start children without listening to any arguments.

He is left in adamant even arguments concerning women’s health. «What 30 years old?», – He says: «Won – called the name of the famous actress – gave birth for 40, and everything managed, made a career».

Explain how children appear in rich and famous, men are impossible. They do not want to listen to the impact of the financial situation on health state – it forms complexes in them, makes feel flawed. Remind it dangerous. 

How to persuade her husband to a child so that he agrees without provoking a family quarrel? 

Why do men don’t want children 

What is behind reluctance to have children? Egoism and the desire to live for yourself, uncertainty in tomorrow, fear of future? Or explicit infantilism, when I want to stay a little a little more, and in my woman you see my own mom?

Be sure to find out the reason for such behavior, and only then try to convince your beloved. 

Some women, without thinking about the factor, caused the reluctance of a man, put a question with an edge: children or divorce!

Immediately it is worth saying that no ultimatums nominate. What can be done if he chooses a divorce?

Therefore, it is necessary to approach persuasion gradually.

First you need to find out why the husband is afraid to start his child. The reasons may be mass:

• The spouse is afraid to start the children because it is not sure that it will be able to provide a family – while the woman is in the decree – a worthy standard of living. Woman should prepare in advance for such a conversation, tell me how they will live all this time, show clearly that the kid benefits are enough for the first time, and then she plans to work part time. If the arguments of the weighty, then the head of the family will necessarily drown. Judging by the reason of refusal, he is responsible, and he wants his fears to be dispelled;
• «Family support» does not want to give up the usual lifestyle, realizing that it will now have to adapt to the children’s regime. If a woman seems that her second half «did not go down», then it may be, she is in a hurry with the desire to increase the family? But sometimes the arguments that grandparents will always be helped with the baby, act;
• A man is afraid that it will not work out of him. Wife must convince him that it is not so difficult to bring examples of families of friends in which men without problems are coping with children. To do this, you need to spend more time with family friends – let her husband understand that with little little men to communicate not so hard. You can bring the argument that the spouse, as a man, is sufficiently responsible that the wife feels behind him, as behind the stone wall. And the baby will be wonderful with him;
• A man does not want to have a son or daughter, so it does not want to share his wife’s attention with anyone. How to make a husband who needs himself «mom», Take a child? Before bringing arguments from the series: «Stupid, you will get as many love, and also the baby will love you», Wife should think, and whether she really is enough forces to be a mom at the same time for two? Maybe you should wait when the spouse matches?
• It is more difficult to convince your favorite to acquire the offspring if he already has children from previous marriages, or he, without leaving the family, started the baby on the side. 

The latter situation is to consider Read more. 

Men already have children 

What to do in the situation if the husband already has heirs? Difficulty is that usually such men from the very beginning of relations warn women about their unwillingness to have children, and women are frivolous dismissed. They believe that they gradually help her husband.

Sometimes men really retreat from their convictions, and love the second kid not less than the first. But it happens: marriages disintegrate due to the fact that the woman will pregnant without the consent of the second half. At the same time she says that herself will be engaged in the baby, and nothing needs to her from a man.

If the feelings are not cooled, then gradually husband «forgive» wife. If he goes to the principle – a divorce is inevitable. 

It happens that the husband, being married, started a child on the side, the spouses came up, and now he refuses to have common children. Arguments «Iron» – You knew what I went, now I’ll not raise it yet ..

Such men are very comfortable. They shifted to women’s shoulders raising the heirs, and live calmly, refusing their wife in elementary women’s joys.

In this case, it is worth thinking about yourself.

To adapt to a man who absolutely not appreciates a good relationship and does not respect the desire to become a mother and further, or not pay attention to male egoism and make a child «almost» Without a husband? That is, try to get pregnant and not pay attention to his claims. Will leave – not the first time goes. But the baby will remain. 

The only thing that I want to advise the woman in a similar situation is to calculate your material opportunities. Hardly such a man will pay alimony. 

Especially disappointing when the wife finds out that the spouse leads the most diverse arguments in defense of their unwillingness to have children, and himself already started «People’s continuer» on the side and runs there secretly.

Why he stays in the family why not divorce? This situation degrades a woman, makesone feel used. 

What to do wives if she found out about what is happening? Forgive such a spouse and take, hoping that the argument «I also want a kid» will be convincing for him? To make him change the decision, such arguments are clearly not enough. The above-described situation with the care of a husband from the family will repeat. 

However, to continue to live with such a man, abandoning the dream of children, or leave him and give birth in the next marriage, can only solve the woman herself. 

How to help the head of the family cope with their fears 

How to convince her husband to make a child to make a child so that he himself felt the initiator?

In no case to a man can not put pressure. Talk about children is required to set out and start acting gently.

Try to make the holidays family meeting in the company with buddies having children. Let her husband understand that children are not scary that they do not interfere at all.

Often praise her husband, say which he is responsible for, let him feel in the family «Father». Very often, this role for men is so much to taste that they themselves begin to think about future heirs. 

You can get old photos and, considering them together, talk: «Oh, you poured dad, one face! You imagine how it was great if you were sitting at the table two so similar man!». A rare man does not want to have a son. 

How to set up a man right, cure all his fears? Need to be affectionate and attentive, show that love is enough for everyone that for such a gift – children, this is really a gift – he will get even more love. 

Independently make a decision 

It happens that a woman is bored to persuade her husband, and she adjusts a random pregnancy, and he then explains that yes, they decided to wait, but it happened ..

Most likely, a man accepts with such circumstances, but at the same time during pregnancy in the family – at best, at its beginning – there will be an unstable emotional climate.

Woman should be ready for this and refers to the displeasure of her husband calmly, otherwise it will affect the course of pregnancy.

Since she herself decided, the behavior of a man for her should be predictable. Even if he accepts the current circumstances, it is unlikely that it will be immediately demonstrated. 

If the husband really loves his wife, configured for long-term joint accommodation, then even the independent decision of the wife will not make him break his relationship.

And he will be happy to listen to when his wife will be explained by childless friends and buddies who invite their family somewhere on weekends to nature:

– We are still busy. We have already decided to make a child with her husband, and you will definitely go with you through the year. You will help you nurse with the baby?