How to learn to deny the child right – learn to speak «No»

How to say the child is not if he does not understand the refusal? Tips, how to learn to talk to children not and refuse. How to teach also a child to say no – on Lady-Magazine.Com

Once again you are standing near the cash register in the store and, happily under the views of other buyers, you can quietly explain to the child that buy another sweetness or toy can not. Because it is expensive because it’s nowhere to put now because you forgot money at home and pr. Each mother has its own list of excuses for this case. True, none of them acts. Karapuz still looks at you wide open, innocent eyes and imploringly puts palms – «Well, buy, mom!». What to do? How to deny the child? How to learn to talk «No» so that the child understands?

Why children do not understand words «No» – We understand the reasons

Learn to talk «No» Children is a whole science. Because it is important not only «Say-cut» and hold back your word, but also to convey to the baby – why it is impossible. Convey so that he understands and to accept Momin refusal without offense.  But not always it turns out. Why does the child want to understand the word «No»?

• The child is still too small and does not understand why this is beautiful and brilliant «Harmful» or mom «it is too expensive».
• The child is spoiled. He was not taught that the money goes to parents with difficulty, and not all desires should be executed.
• The child works for the public. If you shook around the box office loud and persistently «you don’t love me at all!», «What do you want me to die with hunger?» or «You never buy anything to me!», then mom will redden and burning from shame, will be forced to surrender.
• The child knows that mom is slightly accracted. And her word «No» After the second third attempt to turn into «Okay, okay, just not».

Talking briefly, if the child is already at a more or less conscious age, then his stubborn ignoring words «No» – This is a lack of upbringing in various variations.

See also: Reasons for children’s greed – what to do parents if the child is greedy

How to learn to deny the child correctly and talk «No» – Instructions for parents

The tiny karapuz is definitely unable to compare his purchasing appetites with parental capabilities, dangers and potential health risms. Therefore, with kids up to 2-3 years, it is much easier – it is enough not to take them with you to the store or take a pre-purchased toy (sweetness) in advance to distract the child until you fill the groin basket. And what about older babes?

• Talk with a child. Constantly explain to him the harm and favor of this or that action, product, etc. Preferably on examples, pictures, on «fingers».
• It is impossible to just say «No» or «it is forbidden». Baby needs motivation. If not, your «it is forbidden» Do not affect. Phrase «It is impossible to touch the iron» will be appropriate if you explain that you can burn. Phrase «You can’t eat so much sweet» makes sense if you show / tell the child what happens from excess sweets. Show pictures about caries and other teeth diseases, put the appropriate instructive cartoons.
• Learn to switch the child’s attention. After, a little bit of mature, he will already understand that this typewriter is impossible, because it costs half the father’s salary. That it is impossible for this candy, because there are already four them today, but I don’t want to go to the dentist again. And T.D. In the meantime, just switch it attention. Ways – Sea. I barely noticed that the baby’s glance drops on the chocolate system (toy), and from ajar mouth is already breaking out «want!», Create a conversation about the zoo in which you will definitely go. Or about what a fantastic cow you will be sculpt now together. Or ask – what kind of super-tasty you, along with the child you will prepare for the father’s arrival. Turn on fantasy. Switch the child’s attention in such a gentle age – it is much easier than to say «No».
• If you said «No», It is categorically impossible to say «Yes». The child must remember that your «No» is not discussed, and you will not be able to stroke under any circumstances.

• Never buy a child’s sweets / toys so that he stopped capricious. Caprises pursue parental attention, the right explanation, the switching of attention, etc. Pay off toy – it means to teach a child that you can get everything you want whims.
• Do not buy your child’s love toys and sweets. Find time for him, even if you do not come from work, but you are pinned with fatigue. Compensating for the chad the deficiency of attention gifts, you look like a source of material pleasures, and not a loving parent. This is how the child will take you.
• Speaking solid and decisive «No», Do not be aggressive. The kid should not feel your refusal as a desire to offend him. He must feel that you protect him and love, but do not change solutions.
• Teach a child with diaper that not material values ​​are of paramount importance, and human. Raising, project thoughts and things are not for the fact that the crouch once became rich, and that he became happy, kind, honest and fair. And the rest will apply.
• Dosage material «Good» for a child. No need to pour it to toys / sweets and allow everything that the little angel will. The child behaved well all week, cleaned the room and helped you? Buy him what he has been asked for a long time (within a reasonable amount). The child should know that it just does not fall from the sky. If you have a limited family budget, you do not need to break into a cake and work in three shifts to buy a kid dear toy. Especially if funds are needed to more important goals. The child at this age is not able to evaluate your victims, and all your efforts will be perceived as granted. Eventually «The story is repeated» – I am for you … all my life … And you, ungrateful … and t.D.
• Stimulate a child on independence. Give him the opportunity to make money on the toy – let him feel like an adult. Just do not think to pay for the fact that he removed his toys, washed or brought the top five – all this he should do from other motives. Child who gets used to «earn» at a young age, never sees you on the neck in the period of growing up and further. It will be natural for him – to work and provide your needs on your own, how to brush your teeth and wash your hands after the street.
• The more often the word sounds «No» («it is forbidden»), the faster the child gets used to him, and the less reacts to him. Try to «No» did not sound ten times a day, otherwise it loses meaning. «No» must stop and pushing. Therefore, reduce the number of prohibitions and warn the risks of the chad collision with possible temptations.
• Limiting the child B «Unnecessary» toys, «harmful» sweets and other things, be humane in relation to it. If the child cannot be another chocolate, then you do not need to fly candy with cakes with it. Limit the child – limit yourself.

• Explaining to the baby «it is forbidden», Make a discount on his age. Say a little «hands in the mouth can not because they are dirty». We must show him what scary bacteria get into the tummy with the unwashed hands.
• If you say crumb «No», then dad (grandpa, grandfather …) should not talk «Yes». Your family «No» Must be the same.
• Look for the opportunity to avoid the word «No», Replacing it on «Yes». That is, look for a compromise. Baby wants to draw in your dear album? Do not shout and do not prohibit, just take it by the hand and lead to the store – let it choose a beautiful «adult» album. Requires a chocolate, and he can not? Let him choose a few tasty and healthy fruits instead. Of which, by the way, you can together make natural juice together.

If the kid understands you and adequately reacts to the prohibitions, be sure to encourage (words) and praise it – «What are you well done, you understand everything, completely adult» and pr. If the child sees that you are happy, he will look for the opportunity to please you again and again.

How to teach a child talk «No» – We teach children important art to refuse correctly

How to competently refuse to your chad, we discussed above. But the task of parents not only learn to speak «No», but also teach this baby. After all, he has to deal with situations when this science can come in handy. How to teach crumb to speak «No»?

• If the baby refuses to you in something, do not take the right to his refusal. He can also tell you «it is forbidden».
• Teach the child to distinguish the cases when it is used for mercenary purposes from situations where people really need help, or there is a need to do as they ask. If the teacher asks to go to the board – «No» It will be inappropriate. If someone asks the child a pen (I forgot your home) – you need to help out the comrade. And if this someone regularly begins to ask the handle, then the pencil, then money for breakfast, then a toy for a couple of days is already a consumerism that needs culturally, but confidently stop. That is, teach the baby to distinguish an important from an insignificant.
• Learn to weigh «per» and «against». Than (good and bad) can turn into a child’s act if he agrees to someone else’s request.
• Teach a child to fuck if he does not know how and is afraid to refuse directly. If you deny with fear in my eyes, you can cause contempt and mockery of comrades, and if you refuse to humor, the child is always the king of the situation.
• Any child’s answer will look authoritative if the kid does not hide the eye and confidently holds. Body language is a very important component. Show the child, how exactly behave and gesticulate confident people.

A little tricks to help for children older.

How can you refuse if the child does not want to do this directly:

• Oh, I can’t – we were invited to visit.
• I would gladly give you a prefix for the evening, but I already lent her to a friend.
• I just can not. Do not even ask (with a mysterious-saddeal).
• Do not even ask. I would be glad, but my parents will rise again under the castle and declared a family boycott. I was enough for another time.
• Wow! And I just wanted to ask you about the same!

Of course, talking directly – it is honest and more useful. But sometimes it is better to apply one of the above-described excuses, so as not to offend the comrade with his refusal. And remember parents that healthy egoism still did not harm anyone (it is healthy!) – about yourself also need to think. If the child is frankly «Slies on the neck», he will not be worn if it says categorical «No». After all, help should be extremely disinterested. And if a friend once helped him, this does not mean that now he has the right to dispose by the forces and the time of your child, as its own.