Causes of domestic violence – what to do if the husband beats his wife
What to do if a husband beats where to turn? Read on Lady-Magazine.COM on the main reasons for domestic violence. Learn how to avoid aggression husband
Women in families are often faced with violence. And, unfortunately, such cases from year to year no less. And even children who are rushing to protect the mother, sometimes fall at hand. The aggressor sometimes does not stop the condemnation of those around people, nor the opportunity to get according to the law. What are the reasons for the aggressive behavior of individual husbands, how to defend themselves from domestic violence itself, How to find a woman exposed to domestic violence, help and support from law and special services?
Causes of domestic violence – why the husband beats his wife?
Modern world – the phenomenon is aggressive in itself. But Violence in human nature is not laid. Each act of violence is preceded by a certain situation, or its roots go from childhood.
So why the husband beats his wife?
- A man copies the model of relations that was considered quite natural in his childhood. That is, aggressive behavior for him is the norm.
- Men provoke. Provocation often becomes coquetry, offensive words and actions.
- Self-affirmation or malfunction.
- Loom-speaking and excessive submission of his wife. The spouse serpt once, forgive the second, well, and then the assault is the habit of the spouse.
- Alcohol. The green sniped of many caring and hardworking men turns into the beasts that the night will disagree wives, and in the morning they can not remember it. Or remember. In this case, by purchasing a bouquet of our coach, sufficiently falling my wife in my feet and, sobbing, pour for forgiveness.
- Jealousy and the fear of losing my wife.
- The man himself was subjected to regular beating in childhood.
- A man lives / works / communicates in the environment where violence is the norm. Havale to see violence, a person ceases to consider it abnormal phenomenon.
- Material problems, In which the wife deals with a man to make money to make money, or he herself earns more husband more, which also puts him in reproach. Mental Equilibrium, which and without subproofing / insults of the spouse, swings from awareness of a worthlessness, can very quickly go to aggression.
- Sadiistic inclinations in character.
It should be understood that sadists are not born – life, furnishings, people affect their appearance. Therefore, before you contacted the marriage Uzami with «Brutal Macho», look good for him, to his behavior, surrounding. Such psychotypes of people are quite recognizable.
What if the husband beats: self-defense methods from domestic violence – advice to women
The question of violence in the family, as a rule, is not taken out for the walls of the house. About tyranny husband Woman shy or afraid to tell someone, including loved ones and girlfriends. And the truth usually pops up when bruises appear on the body. The reasons for which the weak floor suffers such an attitude towards himself is not so much – Weakness of character and inability to stand up for itself, the apartment question, financial dependence, children, which «need father, even if such», or even absurd «hits – it means». And for some and at all, the aggression of her husband is a variety of family life and peculiar «Role playing» With hot reconciliations and nights of love after a quarrel.
If you lower the last option, the most important question for women who fell into the Western marital tyranny – What to do if a husband beats, and how to protect yourself?
- Changes in the behavior of the spouse appear not immediately. As a rule, with the onset of pregnancy and after delivery. At first – irritation, unmotivated malice, angry attacks and even broken dishes. Then insults, humiliation, intentional causing resentment and pain, and then a handscript. Further the scenario of the impetus, pinks and bruises are in the habit, and every evening you are waiting for it from working with fear, clogging into the corner. Output one – in time to see in the husband of Tirana and part.
- Naively think that «a little more and passes», «He is just tired», «yes it happens in every family», «Yes, I myself guilty – all day I was lying in bed, and he smelled» and pr. Excuses of cruelty and violence from his husband no and can not be. Feel – something has changed? Take measures immediately. Began to insult and rude? Find out – what is the reason, do not delay the conversation for a more favorable time.
- Do not let him be able to think that you can humiliate and offend. Having done this time and two, a man will understand that you do not resist, and will continue with even more enthusiasm. Any insult should be equal rebuff. Even if your «favorite baby» weighing 100 kg, which «Just tired at work».
- The hardest to solve the problem of violence at its initial stage. When the wife is trying to justify the aggression of her husband’s fatigue, voltage, etc. The woman does not even allow the thoughts that aggression will soon go to the manual design, and life will be like hell. Therefore, any excuses of her husband go to the move, just to not recognize themselves in the true state of affairs. Your task in this situation – try to look forward. Make sure that the splash of aggression was indeed caused by problems at work and. So what «Sorry, broke yesterday» will not happen again. If you feel that this case is only the beginning, if you see that the husband breaks down and is angry about and without – it means it is time to talk, and after deciding for yourself – whether such prospects for family life are needed.
- My husband first hit. To begin with, calm down and find the reason for his act. Is it characteristic of his family? Was it a splash anger or condition «Affect»? Was he in a state of intoxication? Realized whether he did, and how he behaved after that? If such an act is not peculiar to him, if he himself was frightened by what had done, and he did not know how now to sole his sins in front of you, then, probably, you don’t need to immediately run to divorce – give him a chance. And let me understand that you will not give him the second chance. And at the same time, think – didn’t you provoke this aggression? If you came home in the morning, in a rash, with alcohol ambit, and even on the question «Where was the whole night?» sent the spouse to catch butterflies, then his aggression is quite explained.
- Specialists advise solve aggression problems with psychologists. That is, first to talk to my husband, and then contact him to contact him «Plumbing human souls». But, as life shows, it can work, if only a man is aware of his problem and wants to cope with it.
- If there has been another manual execution, do not cry, do not shout, do not threaten – your actions should be decisive and cardinal. The best option is to give pass, collect things and leave. No matter what dimensions are a man: a heavy griddle in the hands of an offended woman – an excellent educational weapon even for «Mountain Muscles», on which the T-shirts are bursting. But this method is good only when you are sure that after your «delivery» You will not lie in the corridor in deep knockout. If there are doubts, it is better to quietly wait for the storm, and then collect things and leave.
- Remember your dignity, to protect which you can only. Go nowhere? Remove the room in the simplest hotel. In extreme cases, you can ask for a cottage to friends, in a crisis center for women (many centers have shelters) and. There is always a way out. And this output is always better than tolerate humiliation. Does not let you get out of the apartment? Shout, knock on the batteries, call the police, Bates dishes – Attract the attention of others. The more noise – the faster the husband is afraid and retreat.
- Respect yourself! There are no insoluble situations. The handscript entered his habit? So you yourself admit this with you. Afraid it? And what is the point in this, if your life has already become like hell? He feeds you? But if desired, even without education, you can find a job. We just need to want. There is no work in your city? Leaving in the other. Do not be afraid to change your life and defend your rights to happiness. After all, this is your life, and only you depends on what it will. Even if you have to run away at night, with three children and from another country, make a choice – what is more important for you: to be full, dressed, humiliated and bat, or be free and happy?
- If you honestly and long tried to change the home microclimate, if they became more tolerant, trying out of the last forces, and the husband is all aggressive, it means it’s time to put a point. If you can immediately leave – go. If not – prepare yourself «bridgehead». That is, find work, housing and suddenly disappear from his life. Before disappearing, try to minimize all the problems – do not respond to aggression, shower the bag with documents, telephone, money in a safe place, in case you have to quickly leave. Find in advance «Refuge». Destroy all books / papers / notebooks with coordinates of people who can find a husband.
- Warn neighbors, So that in the case of noise and screams immediately caused the police. Secure yourself from all sides.
If the behavior of the husband passes all the imaginable boundaries of the permitted, It’s time to act, relying on the law and special services. In this case, calculate exclusively on yourself, be patient, damage your fears on the mezzanine and forward – to freedom!