Big difference in age
Can the relationship be durable if the difference in the age of partners is significant? You can answer this question, having understood with true motifs moving pair
In the modern world, the views on the relationship in a pair were democratic than before. And although most spouses relate to one generation (the difference at the age of 10 years or less), few people will surprise a big difference in the age of couple. This topic causes constant public interest and is often discussed in the circle of psychologists, in magazines and a talk show.
A look into the past
A few centuries ago, the ratio of couples from one generation and those who have a difference in the age of 20 and more, it was just the opposite of the current situation.
The norm was considered marriages in which the husband could go to the spouse in fathers, and sometimes even in grandfather. It happened that the difference in the age of 30!
To contain a family was considered a great responsibility, so only after a man lived a decent life, earned certain capital and reputation in society, he decided to marry. In such a situation, the choice was in favor of young brides capable of giving birth to healthy children.
When choosing a husband or wife, it was primarily not compatible on the difference in age, but on the wealth and status of the groom, as well as on the beauty, health and domicility of the bride.
Positive aspects
What are the pairs unequal in terms of maturity? Men, as a rule, shifts beauty, cheerfulness, youth girl.
On her background, a man feels healthier and younger. In addition, the status in society plays an important role for each man. A young wife can be perceived as a certain trophy, the status raisher of her husband.
In turn, in mature satellites of girls attract intelligence, life experience, financial independence. Psychologists believe that in her chosen one, a woman can subconsciously see the image of the Father, especially when there is a difference at the age of 30. But such a role transfer is possible and with a smaller age distance.
It would seem that the Union should be ideal due to the fact that partners complement each other. Indeed, beauty and mind, maturity and some frivolousness of youth, experience and dreams – together create an excellent picture.
However, not everything is so simple, there are also pitfalls that can destroy the perfect future at first glance.
Underwater reefs
Why in our time such opposite people who have the difference in the age of 20 and more, strive to be together? Psychologists try to consider the deep motives for this choice.
If a mature man seeks to find a young girl for himself, one or more hidden motifs may be present:
He competes with his friends (who has the younger girlfriend is the winner, stronger male);- The man is infantile, he wants to tie life with a companion younger than him, hoping that she will be controlled by him in everything (if the difference at the age of 10 years or more, a woman is difficult to oppose her opinion to her husband’s desires);
- Partner wants to make a perfect image for himself, to re-educate the chosen;
- Against the background of a young wife, a mature husband looks like a boylaway and healthier.
The same motives may be present in women. Nowadays, marriages are frequent in which a woman is much older than their chosen one.
Incompleteners can chase that the beloved acts as a son or Alphonse, uses a partner from mercenary motivations. A woman, as a rule, is accused of infantal, desire to be rejected at the expense of one, hide signs of aging.
Such couples are difficult to stay together for a long time. On the one hand, the spouses may encounter the fact that the wife cannot give birth to a son or daughter to her young husband, and on the other hand, a woman will feel the growing discomfort from the fact that she gradually loses its attractiveness.
Fearing that her will throw her, the spouse can become extremely jealous, suspicious and even hysterical. The situation is exacerbated by oblique gladies of the fellow girlfriends and colleagues, and the prolite remarks of relatives.
What happens if the pair does not fully understand the hidden motives present in the relationship?
Of course, it is impossible to re-educate another. It is also impossible to infinitely increase self-esteem due to partner. A young spouse can blame her husband in that he does not walk with her on dancing and parties, and the husband may unsuccessfully try to re-educate his wife, constantly teaching her «Mind mind», Read it windy.
A psychologically mature man or woman will be more comfortable and more interesting, if less than 6 years old age difference – then a couple more common to communicate, closer life position due to the belonging to one generation.
Sexy background
Peaks of sexual activity in men and women fall at different years. Men are most active in 19-22, women – at 28-30 years. Sometimes older women subconsciously choose young and active guys.
In this case, it turns out for 6 years the difference in age – ideal in terms of sexual temperament. Young girls and mature men can also coincide in sexual queries, since the needs of the partner are not yet great, and its chosen one has already passed the peak of his activity. It should be understood that over time there may be problems in the bedroom of spouses when a woman reaches its maturity.
Compatibility on the difference in age depends not only and not so much from sexual appetites, but still from relationships in a pair.
Only with a sincere desire to give, and not only to receive, to invest in relationship, listen and understand the partner, and long-term happy relationships are possible.
As soon as selfish motives and manipulative strategies begin to dominate relationships, the future of the couple becomes threatened.
What you need to remember to save relationships
In order for partners belonging to different generations, they retain their relationship for a long time, you must first trust each other and do not listen to unfriendliers. Need to sculpt happiness with your own hands. Here are just some tips, how to preserve relationships at the age difference.
one. Do not dwell on numbers
Need to forget about the figures and behave adequately situations. Sometimes a 20-year-old girl can behave quite ripe. Magic of Relationship – in the personality of partners, their worldview is here and now.
2. Recognize chosen one to another generation
In a situation where, let’s say, the difference in the age of 20, it is impossible to dismiss the fact that partners belong to different generations with their mental features. Growing at different times, on specific films, in different political era, husband and wife have deep psychological differences, which, at least, need to be aware of.
Who is warned, he is armed. Understanding differences allows you to admit a couple of love to a friend.
3. Find common interests
If a man and woman for a long time together, it means that they are holding common interests. It is worth understanding that it combines a couple, concentrate on the community of views and a hobby, rally, forgetting about the crust of ill-wishers.
4. Fight for the relationship
The big difference in age makes you think about what the motives are pairs. It is sober to look at the situation, analyze your feelings and thoughts. If the tender attachment is held only on the fact that the man is wealthy, provides a rear, then unfairly in relation to it to continue such a connection.
Sooner or later, the situation will be out of control, the secret will become explicit. If the thoughts are clean, and feelings are really strong, it is worth attaching every effort to keep love.
five. Look for support
It is much easier to maintain relationships, if a couple support close people – friends and relatives. If you find those like-minded people who will understand with understanding to the fact that in love with a significant difference in age, it is much easier to withstand inevitable crises and household conflicts.
6. Keep self-confidence
Without faith in your strength and high self-esteem, it is easy to surrender when the first friction appears. No need to shove that the partner is much older or younger. So the life has developed and tells the heart, and therefore – the choice is justified.
There are quite a lot of ways how to keep love there, where they are connected in a pair of different generations.
Most likely, for some time it will be quite difficult to resist public opinion and smooth out the domestic roughness in communication with the chosen. But love works wonders, sincere feelings will overcome any obstacles!
