How to get along with a problem husband

Family Psychology for Women. Tips of psychologists when the husband is tyran. Why not always be able to return her husband who changed. The reasons why women do not forgive treason

Most women expect from married life if not complete happiness, then at least, successful overcoming family difficulties. It is unlikely to find a bride predicting treason or willingly make up the gravity of life with a man whose character can be described in a word – tyrant.

Therefore, unfortunately, unfortunately, often in marriage – treason, divorce, despotism – are often so unexpected that they completely knock out a woman from the rut and make it dependent on the support from the outside.

Family psychology in the West is developed much more than we. And with a problem that our women willingly share their girlfriends, Western wives prefer to understand the office from a family psychotherapist.

It seems incredible, but in developed countries, secured ladies live according to the principle: if the husband has changed – for advice to a psychologist. Whether ever interested in you, which methods use Western psychology to return peace of mind and influence the spouse?

Tiran in the family is not needed

For a healthy atmosphere in the house and soft trusting relationships, psychologists urge to fight almost from the first days of married life. It is recommended to look closely to the husbands very carefully, so as not to miss the moment and, if possible, to re-educate home tyranna.

For example, you need to track such signs of despotism of men in marriage:

• The despot makes decisions for himself and for his wife, his desires are not discussed;
• A man dictates his wife not only strict rules of behavior, but also controls its appearance, makes it worn to wear certain clothes and makeup;
• prohibits communication with girlfriends or relatives;
• criticizes the choice of wife for any occasion;
• He opposes the desire of the wife to go to work and pushes her every way to dismissal;
• exposes rigid criticism how the wife raises children;
• In severe cases – overhears telephone conversations, checks the correspondence and SMS.

It is curious that many men behave in a similar way due to jealousy, but by virtue of a special inclination to ill psychological treatment, and the voltage in a pair may occur instantly, and can increase over the years. Even if the answer is «Yes» There is one of the items, it would have caused anxiety of a family psychologist.

Tips of the psychologist, if the husband is tyrant, are not limited to a categorical rupture of relationships. It is clear that sometimes there is simply no choice, especially if the husband comes to the hands-writtenness. But the practice of American family consultants shows that in some cases it is still possible to adjust the behavior of Tirana.

What to do if a man «tyranny»

Decide whether you want to save a relationship or, having learned your man with an unpleasant side, you wish to finish your marriage. In the end, the husband-tyrant is really unbearable, and, withsting the pressure from the spouse for years, you risk losing not only the love of it, but also its sincere equilibrium.

In the early stages, some manifestations can be corrected. Western psychology sees in men’s despotism at all «Solid black stain», Rather, the unsuccessful, inept attempt to express its emotional needs and fears.

Check who in front of you is a psychopath or undeveloped emotionally, you can, having received sincere response to the question of what this person awaits you. If the spouse requires unconditional subordination – you are the one who is not able to perceive you as a person, if he doesn’t know exactly what he wants, but unhappy with trifles – it means not everything is lost, and it is still possible to establish relationships.

Here are some tips of psychologists, how to re-educate a man who requires too much:

• Keep safely and confidently, do not express fear or perturbations, but do not disdain from her husband, as if he is an annoying fly – the next time he can press on you with a double strength;
• If a man requires your attention at the moment when you are busy, do not make a choice of this «Who is more expensive to me», Better explain when you can give him all myself and fulfill the promise, no matter how hard it seems the upcoming conversation;
• Unreasonable prohibitions (for communication, clothing, diet, etc.) Mark it decisively, use the right to be a separate personality, but assure that we are happy to execute other requests that you consider acceptable and even useful (not to return from work late one, to quit smoking, avoid long conversations by phone with girlfriends);
• Do not take a reason to suspect that you are complaining about him to friends, colleagues or neighbors – even one tactless hint in his presence is able to deeply hurt the already painful «I» prone to the tyranny husband;
• If a man is seriously tolerates your absence, call him more often every 2-3 hours, and you can easily tell than busy; jealous and owners very soothes this technique;
• instead of «go to the soul» With a question «Why are you so?», Ask about his interests and achievements, as well as ask the opinion about everything, as for both of you – preferences in food, rest, reading, movies, pets and T. NS. Calm conversations are saturated with a male need for attention, not assimary at the same time drawing pride and not causing disputes, which men almost never forgive her wives.

Remember that clinical tyrant will not stay not only with you, but also in any other family, so do not croin yourself and do not lose time on the monster’s re-education. But a man with some psychological difficulties and so-called masks of Tirana may be simply hyper-sensitive and hot-tempered, which is wonderful overcoming without tears and scandals.

If the husband went: psychologist tips

A completely different test for a woman can be treason of loved, especially painful this blow becomes, if it led to his departure from the family.

Even before the practical application of all sorts of advice of a psychologist, how to return her husband, a good family consultant will first help figure out whether the woman does not have a hidden, unconscious accusation aggression, because in this case, attempts to return to the husband who changed, doomed to failure.

Psychologists allocate several reasons why women so hard Forgive the traitor And why some see in parting the only correct completion of relations:

• A woman is experiencing a loss of confidence due to lies and deception, and the violation of the marriage kraatuals is considering as an immoral betrayal;
• The couple is experiencing a catastrophic shake of consciousness, which psychologists call the loss of the illusion of loyalty – from now on both know that treason is possible between them;
• Many women brings suffering a squeezing feeling of mud of someone else’s energy – starting from the perfume of another woman and ending with new strange words that husband «picked up» on the side;
• The real danger of sex infection, the possible involvement of a husband to an abortion, the problem of extramarital children;
• publicity and shame, universal condemnation play not the last role in solving breaking marriage after Treason Muga;
• If there was an emotional injury in children, it becomes doubly difficult to forgive betray.

It is also believed that if the wife subconsciously follows some personal ethics, prohibiting her in the depths of the soul to forgive caused pain («did not deserve», «This does not say goodbye», «Pink up to a traitor indecent»), then all its conscious attempts of reconciliation will be divided into deep inner dislike for her husband.

Moreover, some men in such a situation are recognized: «Gone because I know that she will never forgive».

Many tips on overcoming family injuries are based on trying to bypass the sharp corners of the very fact of treason. To gain a feeling of inner forgiveness of the guilty husband, psychologists recommend to remove from details and approach treason as the difficulty you need to take from life.

The acceptance of unwanted events that we cannot change is considered the key to all positive changes, including the establishment of destroyed family bonds.