How to live without children – looking for a way out

Regardless of whether the childlessness is a personal drama or conscious choice, the question is still «How to live without children?» Inevitable. We will try to find the answer together

Once the absence of offspring was considered a curse, the most terrible car of gods. Those who read the Bible know that in ancient Palestine, for example, a couple without offspring could be subjected to natural obstruction until the expulsion: to see something of the Lord’s family, once deprives them of their happiness of childbearing.

Comparatively (by historical standards) recently, only a hundred fifty-two hundred years ago, concepts «family planning» did not exist in principle, gave birth, how much will God send.

Yes, and what to deepen so far into the past, if only a dozen years ago, we ourselves could not explain to our relatives, why in our family, five years after marriage, still no offspring.

Do not sick? God did not adopt a man’s man’s force? Explanations that we simply do not want to be, relatives were not understood and not accepted categorically, and after all, among them the difference – only one or two generations.

Now families in which one or two kids, in our parts most, «Major families», How they were determined in the statements of the Russian Empire, became the norm. At the same time, the number of families without offspring increased at all. What are the reasons for such a phenomenon, and how to live without children?

What are the reasons?

Greedy to dubious sensations journalists present a decline in fertility and the fall in population population, as some of our unprecedented specificity. In fact, a decrease in fertility and average amount of Chad in the cell of society is observed throughout Europe.

Until recently, such a picture was observed in the United States, but now the statistics were releasing active immigrants from Mexico and Latin America.

For reason «Labeliness» By and large, everything is more or less clear, with the development of civilization a large number of offspring ceased to be economically appropriate. In a primitive peasant economy, the number of working hands was a decisive factor that does not ensure the prosperity even, but physical survival.

Already in five to six years, the offspring was a house assistant, and in 14-15 – a full-fledged employee. After the baby went away from the chest, the concern for him was completely pinned on the shoulders of the elders, so, «Reproducing conveyor» switched to complete self-sufficiency.

Having numerous offspring was tritely profitable, the benefit disappeared – went into the past and massive numerous families.

The attentive reader will ask, but what kind of fruiting immigrants are really industrially at primitive agriculture? The cause of the fertility of the marginalov is social benefits accrued, including on the siblings.

More «Livestock» – more social «Pluns», Again the economic factor is obvious. However, the analysis of the social policy lies far beyond our discussion today, therefore it’s no meaning to stop in detail at this moment.

Advancedness arguments

WITH «More infliction» dealt with, but parentity is a natural need for the reason for the complete absence of offspring in some families?

• Medical factors. Unfortunately, it often happens that people who are ready and wishing to have offspring cannot do this for medical reasons, the procedures for artificial fertilization and the services of surrogate mothers are expensive and are not available to everyone. Also, not everyone is ready to bear the cross of adoption of someone else’s child;
• Voluntary refusal. Recognized reluctance to have offspring formed in recent years in the so-called worldview «Childfries» (from english. Child FREE – free from children). This worldview includes a whole range of diverse reasons, including the unwillingness of women to be «continuation of the reproductive function» and live for children. The ability to choose from the entire variety of ways to implement, which provides men and women to the modern world, the desire to completely devote themselves to science, art, career, «not distracted by children who interfere with living» and T.D. Often «Childfries» Proclaimed the usual so characteristic of youth maximalism: in love Cool lives and without children, The third (in the face of the baby) seems to be superfluous, and it seems that it can always continue;
• The most controversial and paradoxical group – people who are not fundamental opponents of parenthood, not having medical interference, but, nevertheless, postponing the birth of a baby, sometimes, forever. Causes may be diverse, but usually associated with a phenomenon on which it should be stopped.

«Childocentrism»… against children

We are so accustomed to the fact that «All the best – children», «children is our future» and the like of the postulates and the slogan that they seem to be granted to us, it seems that in a similar way, it was always. However, this is not the case. Already mentioned economically reasonable peasant numerous offspring had both the reverse side.

The first and best piece of always a meager peasant food got a peasant – the head of the family, the head of the worker and the breadwinner, then the wife-assistant, and only after Chadam, always first senior, then the younger.

Such, how to say, wildly from a modern point of view I had a harsh vitality: with the death of a man’s breadwinner, the family was doomed, to survive the death of his wife the family was much simpler, and the kids … God gave – God and took, it was for a long time, to kill Once, work did not wait.

Thanks to progress, the ghost of hunger stopped standing behind his back almost every family, which was very beneficial on the attitude towards his offspring, but the pendulum swung to another extreme. The baby is proclaimed by the center of the family universe, molok, whose altar should lie all other interests of the family.

Instead of a healthy relationship to kids, as the natural fruits of love, beloved, but younger family members, sometimes comes «Detroplate». An assistant child change is often an assistant to the pedestal.

The most great gift that parents presented the parents – the lifetime itself is already not enough, society dictates that the family is obliged to prove that it is worthy of bringing a child to this world. Before giving birth, it is necessary to provide a child … and then follows the list, the fullness of which is limited only by the fantasy.

It sometimes reaches the fact that the family refuses the second child, because … the first against! After all, it can reduce the amount of benefit and parental attention. Increasing the same senior to help the content of the younger, generally is often announced by the society for unacceptable violence over the freedom of the older child.

Fear to be «Unworthy» the parent, the prospect of renunciation from everything for the sake of Chad’s good, as well as a drainage fear of becoming a slave of his own child and disgusts many of the parents in general.

Life without children

Regardless of the reasons if the desired joy of maternity is not available to you, how to live without children? It should be remembered that the motherhood instinct, albeit the strongest (often instinct of motherhood turns out to be stronger even instinct of self-preservation), but only instinct.

Unworthy of a modern reasonable person to be a slave of his instincts, who need to live only for children. Do not forget that you are a whole multifaceted person by yourself, no offspring in no way makes your life defective.

Cameron Diaz, Oprah Winfri, Milen Farmer, Agatha Christie, Natalia Gundareva – Who will turn the language to call these women defective and failed due to their childlessness?

The diversity of the modern world gives the possibility of self-development and self-improvement for every taste, to be a mother – far from the only opportunity to realize himself for a modern woman.

Many helps find themselves faith in God. Perhaps the Lord, having deprived you of motherhood, prepared for you another, pleasing to him? Looking for and find, and yourself, and your true vocation!