Crisis in relations
Psychologists argue that the crisis in relations is a step of mutual understanding and more trusting communication, which many pairs do not always succeed
Meeting, in love, planning the creation of a family, it seems to us that Euphoria from a mutual feeling will last forever and nothing can interfere with each other. But the time passes and the period comes when the feelings no longer seem to be so elevated and beautiful, the partner is annoying with its habits and the unsuccessful character, you start calling friends, complain about the afternoon and endlessly wondering what touched you before.
These are the first signs of the upcoming crisis in relationships.
We are stubbornly believe in the illusion that the loving partner should be in all similar to us, think like us and if this does not happen, with indignation complaining to friends. «He scatters socks around the house». «She does not want to have sex in my first requirement». «He prefers to lie on the sofa than to go to the movie». «She does not prepare lunch of three dishes like my mom». Mutual claims will be contrary to the accusation, misunderstanding and non-acceptance that lie in a step to a divorce with the wording «did not get along».
It is not necessary to take decisive actions immediately, the crisis in relationships are experiencing all the couples, even those that seem perfect at first sight. So what is this dangerous turning point in the life of each couple, because of which they arise and how to deal with them, and in general – what to do if the crisis is in relations?
What does the crisis mean in relationships
Psychologists argue that the crisis in relations is a step of mutual understanding and more trusting communication, which many params do not always manage, this is a natural barrier for a couple, overcoming which will bring to a new level of relationship.
The crisis helps to look in a new way to the last stage, evaluate the partner and his role as married. Such a revaluation can lead to various developments of events, in the ideal case – to a further, more harmonious union, sometimes – to the decision to part, as well as to the so-called passive care from problems – treason, feeding, diseases, disease.
We are made for each other
The most vulnerable are couples fully absorbed by attention to each other, they will dissolve in their love, without noticing the world around. They are constantly together and nearby, everyone lives and breathes in the interests of only their halves.
In such pairs, the crisis in relations is very painful – the birth of a child, the change of residence, the device for a new job of one of the lovers becomes a test for another partner.
Over time, fatigue from all-consuming feelings can come, from the constant presence of the second half in every step and movement. This follows the detachment of one and perplexity of another partner, both not knowing how to behave further, are distinguished, causing a lot of pain and suffering.
Let’s talk
In this case, the misunderstanding comes due to a shortage of communication with each other. It seems that you know about your any and close person, everything can be easily predicted to predict his thoughts and actions, so you ignore such an important and significant event in the life of each pair, as talking about souls about mutual desires, plans for the future, views on the education of the child and Much more.
Believing that strong love will replace any communication, with time, we discover a completely unfamiliar person next to him, with a completely opposite, from the invented image, thinking and a horizon.
Conflicts on this soil lead to painful parting, if you do not show yourself as a careful and sensitive interlocutor.
But there is still a crisis of relations by year, when the family is subject to certain tests, as the family union is consistent and strengthen and strengthen. The most serious and critical are the first, third, seventh and fifteenth year of living together, although it is not eliminated by the likelihood and on the twentieth year to get into the risk area.
Crisis in relationships 1 year
The couple in love, making a decision on joint living, begins to adapt to the joint life and habits of each other. And here it is found that the candy-bought period is over, the romance has evaporated somewhere, and some actions and desires of their half absolutely do not correspond to their own preferences.
You start to face small household habits of a partner, the existence of which did not even assume that. For example, she does not know how to cook as Mom prepared, and he absolutely does not help to keep a household.
You can bring a lot of examples of unpleasant discoveries, followed by disappointment and a possible gap. According to statistics in the first year of life, about 80% of steam disintegrate. To overcome the crisis of relations 1 year should go on mutual compromises, quietly discuss the differences that have arisen, try to understand each other’s position.
Crisis of relations 3 years
Much managed to happen from the moment of creating a couple, alone got married, the first stage of lapping and the adoption of the partner is far behind. But the appearance of a child becomes a new test for young dads and mothers. It seems to him that all the attention is paid only to the baby, she, in turn, that he helps little and does not pay attention to the child.
Sleepless nights are attached to all of them, washing diapers, experiences for the health of crumbs, disagreements in the view of the upbringing of beloved Chad.
Woman starts nervous about his figure, lack of free time and chronic fatigue. Naturally, the usual way of life is completely changing, and scandals and mutual reproaches begin, which can lead to misunderstanding and reluctance to live together.
Panacea in this situation can be patient and flexibility in communication with a partner, listen to the ability to listen, support and help in any situation.
The beginning of this period is not limited to the Third Year of Life, in someone begins earlier, as a crisis of relations 2 years, others later.
Crisis of relations 5 years
By this time, the children have grown, a woman from the decree goes to work and begins to build a career, a man often makes up a successful business, which carries an increase in the workload at work, joint life established so much that he managed to.
These are characteristic signs of the crisis of relations 5 years. During this period, many are disappointed when comparing their first expectations with reality. The probability of gradually increases, because I want to feel the desired and beloved, feel the sharpness of forgotten feelings.
Do not give a single chance of routine to absorb you entirely, appreciate the achieved, communicate a lot, try to bring more romance in your connection. Take a shared business, organize joint leisure, spend a vacation together and the crisis of relations 5 years will retreat before your desire to stay together.
Crisis of relations 15 years
The main reason for the crisis of relations is 15 years – reassessment of the life values of partners, the oversaturation of the joint life and the crisis of middle-aged.
Men seem that life is gray and uninteresting, which has passed a lot of time, and there was not enough that the new young spouse or a mistress can decorate his life with new bright sensations. Women are worried because of their age and are afraid to stay alone, become jealous and suspicious.
At this moment, it is impossible to succumb to Handre and pessimism, the exit – create an illusion of youth together! Try to interest each other with new hobbies, change the situation, organize a joint vacation, come up with new family traditions.
And remember the crisis comes and leaves, and your favorite person, and in joy and grief remains with you. He like a lactium paper will show you all the negative sides of the marriage, then because of what you constantly quarrel, and the positive sides are the proximity of the native and beloved person in any situation.
To the question of what to do if the crisis can be answered quite simple:
- Respect each other;
- Support in a difficult moment;
- Pay sex life enough;
- Praise each other for any reason;
- Make surprises not only on significant dates, but also just like that;
- Come up with a common cause or hobby;
- More often, remember your first dates, it will help to ignore the fruitless light of love;
- do not fill in all the space around your loved one, let him be able to sometimes be the most, alone with silence, but not long!
