How to get rid of the past?

The past can be a support of the life path, but may lie on the shoulders with a serious cargo. How to forget the past if it prevents moving forward? Our experts will be prompted

Past, past, last, was the chain of events preceding the current moment. The stages of our life path, the staircase, on which we have risen (and sometimes – the bias on which they rolled) before reaching the present state and position.

What are the memories?

The past may be light – memories of careless childhood, romantic youth, first love, lived together in consent of the years illuminate life, make it brighter and lighter. But it also happens the dark past – the sins of disturbed youth, failed relationship, the pain caused to us, and, perhaps, and inflicted by us to someone near. And then the question arises how to forget the past?

It should be understood first that our past is not easy set of information, like files on a computer disk. Passed on the basis of our personality, only thanks to the past, and not only and not so much due to only bright moments we could become those who we became.

Continuing an analogy with a computer, we can say that part of the memories of the past can be considered system files of our built-in operating system, and their removal can lead to a complete decay of the personality.

But there are memories (for example, a missing loss of a beloved, terrible tragedy, physical or moral violence), coexist with which it is simply impossible. In this case, it is worth a risk.

Turn the page

With tragedies or violence, thank God, face relatively few, but failed relationships are hardly at the back of most women. Most often, the rupture is more or less painless, but there are cases when the gap has become a real psychological trauma. What to do in such a situation?

Usually advised «kick the wedge wedge», That is, the best medicine from the old relationship, in theory, would have to become new. However, here our memory can put a real pig. For a long time, such a feature of human memory is known – positive moments are remembered much better than negative.

Moreover, much of neutral or clearly negative things in memories becomes much more attractive, as if, look at the pink glasses.

This feature of memory should help us save mental strength and get rid of the grave load of the past. However, in practice, it is often very difficult to assess the surrounding experience. As a result, many women and girls build an idealized image of failed relationships in consciousness.

Of course, common sense would have to argue that the ideal relationship would not be broken, but in the period of spiritual grief, not everyone is able to evaluate the surrounding reality.

What we have? The woman is trying to build a new relationship, but does it on the lecture «Ideal» relationship with the old partner. Often and the partner is entirely under the previous one.

No need to have extrasensory abilities in order to predict the result. The next broken relationships are again built into the rank of ideal and become a template for further constructions, which, of course, are doomed initially. Vicious circle.

How to break this circle how to forget past relations?

Do not listen to those who will confine you to do it just. By no means. This is a hard work consisting of many stages. Follow our advice, and step by step you will be able to push the unpleasant plots of your past in the fly.

So, working on yourself:

• Take a pause, do not strive, as if in the outer with your head, in the next relationship. Give your rest to your heart and use the mind;
• Understand that once the relationship is broken, it means that they were not ideal by definition;
• Spend an analysis of the events, take a look at the past critical, but in no case do not grasp all the blame for yourself;
• Load the line under the past – you do not need to spend the evenings listening «yours» Songs and looking at joint photos. However, it is not worth it to rush to another extreme – methodically deprive of everything that reminds about yesterday’s partner. By this, you will be offended in the cult that you will agree, it does not help forgetting;
• The moratorium on love relationships does not mean a ban on the relationship as such, because in the world there are many wonderful things that are far from the amourous fronts. Having said to himself «I want to forget naught past», Do not contact a voluntary gate, get rid of your head to work too. Hold the time to relatives, move the time with girlfriends. Ideally, if you have the opportunity to a little to travel, in your position there is nothing better than fresh impressions;
• No opportunity to travel – not trouble, plunge into cultural life. Theaters, cinema, galleries and supernisters will ensure you no less positive;
• Do not look for romantic relationships, just be yourself, leading active, rich life, and when the time comes, new relationships will find you yourself.

We forget the last on Freud

An interesting way to forget past resentments are offered followers of the founder of the founder of psychoanalysis Sigmund Freud. In accordance with this teaching, three stages should be passed for the full separation of oneself:

Step 1. Revision. At this stage, it is necessary to give the will to tears, completely surrender to the feelings. You need to throw out all the accumulated sadness, without giving her to hide, go deep into the subconscious maze, contacting the elusive ghosts of the past, which will torment the heart and beyond the soul with long sleepless nights in lonely.

Step 2. Elimination (Utilization). Stage of getting rid of physical reminders of relationships: give the former all his things, taking their own. If this for any reason is impossible (they went out to different cities and countries, the personal meeting is too unbearable and t.D.) – give things to those who need, let your separation bring someone to someone.

It is not necessary to spoil and destroy things, but with virtual contacts do ruthlessly – phone numbers, email addresses, contacts of messengers and social networks are subject to irretrievable removal. Like Message Stories.

Step 3. Separation. This is the stage of the final discontinuity of the psychological level. Tarzing comes to change, peace and harmony with them and the world.

Of course, the past is impossible to forget absolutely (yes it is unnecessary), but you can look at the past experience without pain and suffering, as one of the completed stages of life path.

We reviewed only some of the options as you can forget our past. Perhaps something from the proposed helps you, but no one can give absolute recipes for all occasions. Look for your way. Enjoy your emotions and a positive environment!