How to raise self-esteem

Normal self-esteem is one of the main factors affecting the life welfare. Let’s talk about how to raise self-esteem, what paths and methods for this exist

What does life depends on? Why some people reach life and career heights, and others so stuck in SEROST to the end of their days? Let’s think about what factors affect it. Of course, among the success factors you will call what is called «Starting position» – Family, Education, Heredity.

All this, of course, is important, it is impossible to argue with the fact that a person from a good family living in a major city, who has gained an excellent education, and that is perhaps the heir of a state, a more chance in life more than a child of provincial alcoholics.

However, it is also impossible to deny that there are many cases when people with equal starting capabilities achieve completely different results. Even children from one family can achieve completely different life results. Moreover, there are many cases when someone who is clearly lagging behind the start, «score» Competitors. Why so it turns out?

Impact on success have vital circumstances? Of course, not everything in life in the hands of human, life throws up to whom adversity, and who is lucky, someone pulls out a happy ticket, and someone lays a pig.

But pay attention to the distribution of luck in adversity does not fit the blind theory of probability. Why some pets of fate, and others – magnets for numerous troubles?

Accident of accident

What is accidents? Perhaps the exemplary example of an accident is an ancient game – «Orlyanka» or «Eagle and Ruska». The essence of the game consists in throwing a coin and attempt to guess which side will fall to the top. What it depends on?

From the great set of factors – pulse force, speed of rotation, wind speed, even to some extent, on temperature, humidity pressure, etc.D. These factors are so much and the influence of their so varied that the outcome to predict is almost impossible; it can be considered random.

So and our life, in addition to starting conditions, depends on a huge variety of circumstances, the number of which is in the countless number of times more than the number of factors affecting the fall of the coin.

Does this mean that life manages the blind case, and that, an eagle or a wide, fate will turn to us, can be left for a deposit of luck? Of course not, because we, unlike a soulless coin, we can influence the circumstances. An important tool for influence on life circumstances is self-esteem.

Self-assessment does not save you from a random meeting with bad people, but greatly increases the likelihood that the attackers will not want to communicate with a person whose eyes will be resolved, prefeed to search for a more proper sacrifice.

Self-esteem is unlikely to affect the policy of the company in which you work, but the responsible order, which can be a step in the career staircase, most likely will get to someone who will not be afraid of this responsibility to take, that is, a person confident in herself.

After all, the life of everyone gives a chance, it is only necessary to be quite confident in our own forces in order for this chance to grab. Recall the most famous image of office plankton in classical Russian literature ..

What, you do not know that Russian classics wrote about office plankton? Well, so classic because it is also relevant, only entourage changes, but the problems described do not lose their top angry.

Those who have not skipped literature lessons at school, probably already guessed that this is about Akakia Akakievich, from the story of Gogol «Shinel». With all the charges, insignificance and victimnia (about this below) of Unhappy Akakia, one of the bosses did not offer him an actual increase, albeit only on the tiny step of the office staircase.

Let the step forward were tiny, but any path starts from the first step. However, absolute uncertainty in his abilities did not allow the hero to take advantage of even this chance.

Let’s talk about how to regulate the accident factor in life, attracting success and repel failures. Our conversation today on how to raise self-esteem.

In a healthy body healthy mind

Self-esteem – psychological category, but I would like to start with things from the psychology of distant. Let’s try to imagine a self-confident person with high self-esteem. What comes to mind first of all? Back straight, the shoulders are deployed, the chin is a little raised, wide, fast walking.

Now, on the contrary, we will try to call in the imagination the image of a man of uncertain – spin sweeping, the eyes run, the movement of the fussy, moves hurriedly, but small marins. Similar behavior has deep roots in the animal of man. So, the individual applying to the dominant position is trying to take the maximum position in space and, most importantly, become higher.

In this, by the way, the secret lies the secret of the special attractiveness of girls in high heels: the dominant female is the highest, and it is she who is the most desirable object for mating capable of giving healthy, competitive offspring.

But the individuals of the Paria, which occupy the lowest places in the hierarchy, behave exactly the opposite: they seek to become as soon as possible, hide, hide from the eyes, clogged into the corner, bake and once again «Do not squeeze». After all, if attention is paid to them – can take away food, bent from a spaced place or simply replete with a tear for prophylaxis.

It has been proven that this dependence of behavior from rank works both in one and the other way, therefore:

• Teach yourself to keep your back smoothly, walk fast (but not hurry!), widespread;
• Look straight, not allothing look. In general, behave as a dominant individual, and you yourself will not notice how you begin to think and feel suitable;
• Be sure to put your body. You can repeat how much «I am the most charming and attractive», But while the mirror assures you in the opposite, there will be no sense;
• Nothing increases self-esteem as experience of real success. Circle physical education, fitness or run in the morning. There will be a result – the confidence will appear.

Do not be a victim

It is difficult to believe in it, but the victim most often becomes the one who wants her to become. At first glance, the desire to be the victim seems to be nonsense, however, such a desire exists, albeit at the unconscious level. Such a traction is indicated by the concept of victimity (from Lat. Victim – Victim).

Like many other problems, victimity is rooted in childhood, so parents must think about raising the child’s self-assessment, avoiding increased victimnia in the future. Familiar to many situation: the child fell and cry – immediately a mother or grandmother and grandmother begged to him, hugs, shakes, sysyukets, pokes his toy, and in his mouth – candy.

After several repetitions in the small brain, the program is laid: to suffer – well, they feel sorry, they say goodbye to them, they carry less responsibility. The child climbed into the stool to make a sweetness from the table without demand – he dug him. But if he falls from stool – he will regret.

The child grows up, but the vicious program is reinforced from once again – society encourages suffering, the image of Holy suffering sacrifices in every way. Being a victim becomes convenient, because with the victim, what is the demand. How to learn about the elevated level of victimity?

Pay attention to the presence of such speech turns:

• With me differently and could not be;
• Everything is against me;
• I knew it;
• I’m weak;
• I do not cope;
• This is not for me;
• Yes, who I am so ..

If you say regularly (or even think) in a similar way, it means that your problem is increased victimity. We will not be an appeal to an experienced psychologist.

How to raise self-esteem?

The topic of self-esteem is very extensive, it is simply impossible to cover it within the framework of one article, let’s summarize some of the results and make conclusions about how to improve self-perception. How to raise self-esteem woman?

So:

• Look like a winner – thoughts like a winner – be the winner. Start with the appearance, bring yourself a beautiful posture and decisive gait – this will be the first step towards improving self-esteem;
• In a healthy body healthy mind. If a person feels sluggish, tired, broken, if it is unpleasant to see his reflection in the mirror, then what self-esteem can we talk about?
• Get rid of the sacrifice, if speech revolutions flashed in your real or mental lexicon «Quality dictionary» – Contact a psychologist.

Do not look for panacea, you should not believe in miraculous books or films capable of raising women’s self-esteem. Get ready for a lift of a woman’s self-esteem, a child or a teenager – serious work. Believe in yourself and everything will succeed.