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20 phrases that can not speak to a child for nothing – dangerous words that break their lives

On 10.02.2017

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What words and phrases can not talk to children? 20 phrases that can never talk to the child not to spoil his life. Find out what you can not tell the child under no circumstances – on Lady Magazine.Com

Communicating with children, we Rarely think about the semantic load of our words and the consequences of some phrases for the psyche of the child. But even quite harmless, at first glance, words can cause significant harm. We understand – what you can not speak to your child ..

«You won’t sleep – babaika (gray wolf, Baba Yaga, a terrible girl, jigurda, etc.) will come!». Never use intimidation tactics. From such an intimidation, the baby will only be a part of the Babyak, the rest of the fear will simply fly past. This can also include phrases like «You will run away from me, a terrible uncle will grab you (a policeman arrests, witch will take.). Do not grow from the child nerasthenka. You need to warn your child about dangers, but not by intimidation, but detailed explanations – what is dangerous and why.

«Do not make porridge – you will stay small and weak». Phrase from the same series of horrors. Look for more humane methods to feed the baby using the contented tactics, and not the intractorious. For example, «You will eat porridge – you will become smart and strong as dad». And do not forget after this children’s feat (eaten porridge) be sure to weigh the crumb and measure the growth – for sure, after breakfast I managed to mature and pull.
«Will be curly (mow your eyes, showing a language, nibble nails and pr.) – So stay» or «Will pick in the nose – the finger will get stuck». Again, we give up senseless exclamations, we calmly explain the baby – why it is not necessary to curl and pick in the nose, and after we tell that «From cultural and obedient kids, real heroes and great people always grow». And demonstrate a photo of the photo of the Brava General, who was also once a little boy, but never put it in the nose and most of all loved the discipline.

«Who are you so awkward!», «From what place you have grown», «Do not touch! I will make it better!». If you want to raise an independent and confident man, throw these phrases from your lexicon. Yes, the baby can break the cup while it carries her to the sink. Yes, it can break a pair of plates from a beloved service while helps you wash dishes. But he sincerely wants to help his mother, he strives to become adult and independent. Such phrases are you «on the root» kill his desire how to help you and cope without your help. Not to mention the fact that these words are detrimental to children’s self-esteem – then you should not be surprised that the baby grows apathetic, the society is afraid, and in his 8-9 years you still tie him the laces and drive to the toilet.
«Your brother has long done all the lessons, and you are sitting», «All children are like children, and you ..», «Neighbor Vanka has already brought the tenth literacy from school, and you are some two». Never compare your child with his brothers and sisters, nor with peers, nor with anyone else. In parents, the child must see support and love, and not reproaches and bringing his dignity. That «comparison» by no means pushing the child to take new heights. On the contrary, the baby can block in herself, to break in your love and even «Revenge the neighbor Vanka» for it «ideality».

«You have the most beautiful, better than all!», «Spit you on our classmates – they have grown and grow!» and pr. Excessive praise binds the child an adequate assessment Reality. Disappointment that the child will experience when it will understand that it is not unique, can cause serious harm to the psyche. No one, besides mom, will not treat the girl as «Star», Why the latter will seek recognition «star» All methods. As a result – conflicts with peers and. Raise in the crumbling ability to adequately evaluate yourself and your strength. Need to praise, but not to overestimate. And your approval should refer to the act of the baby, and not to his personality. Not «Your craft is the best», but «You got a wonderful handicraft, but you can make it even better». Not «You are the most beautiful», but «You really go this dress».
«No computer, while the lessons do not finish», «No cartoons until all porridge is eaten» and pr. Tactic – «You me i’m you». Never this tactic will bring fruit. More precisely, bring, but not those you are waiting. Ultymative «barter» Over time, it will turn against you: «Want me to make lessons? Let go to the street». Do not contribute to whims, resorting to this tactic. Do not teach the baby «to bargain». There are rules, and the child must follow them. While he is small – show perseverance and achieve your. Does not want to clean? Come up with the game before bed – who will quickly remove toys. So you and the baby will involve in the process of cleaning, and teach it to clean things every night, and avoid ultimatums.

«With such dirty, I will not go anywhere», «I do not like this» and pr. Mom love is an unshakable phenomenon. There can be no conditions for it «if». Mom loves all. Always, at any moment, any – dirty, patient, disobedient. Love with the conditions undermines the child’s confidence in the truth of this love. In addition to the insult and fear (that they are talking, they will throw.), such a phrase will not bring anything. Mom is a guarantee of protection, love and support in any situation. And not the seller on the market – «you will be painky, I will love you».
«We wanted a boy at all, and you were born», «And why I only gave you» and pr. Catastrophic error – such to tell your child. The whole world who knows the child, collapses for him at that moment. Even said simple «to the side» phrase under which you did not mean «nothing», May be caused by a serious mental toddler injury.
«If not for you, I would have already worked on prestigious work (I went to Mercedes, rested on the islands, etc.). Never boil your unfulfilled dreams to a child – a child is not to blame. Such words will hang over the child responsibility and feeling of guilt for your «Cheated hopes».

«Because I said so!», «Do what ordered!», «I do not care what you want!». This is a hard ultimatum, which only one desire will cause any child – to protest. Look for other ways of conviction and do not forget to explain – why the child must be something else to do. Do not strive to subdue the child with your will so much so that it is subject to the obedient soldier unquestioned to you in everything. First, absolutely obedient children simply does not happen. Secondly, you should not impose my will to him – let him develop an independent person, has his point of view and knows how to defend his position.
«I have my head hurts from your screams», «Stop terrorizing me, I have a weak heart», «I have no health care!», «You have something – a spare mom is?» and pr. If you really happen to you, the feeling of guilt will pursue the child all his life. Look for reasonable arguments to «Stop disgrace» kid. It is impossible to scream, because in the next apartment sleeps a breast child. You can not play football in the evening in the apartment, because old people live below. You can’t ride on the new floor, because dad spent a lot of time and effort to lay these floors.

«So I have not seen you anymore!», «Hope with eyes!», «Yes so that you fail» and pr. The consequences of such mami words can become catastrophic. If you feel that your nerves at the limit – go to another room, but never let yourself.
«Yes, on, only leaving». Understand mom, of course, you can. When a child is already the third hour in a row cannuchits «Well, mom, well, give» – Nerves pass. But surrender, you open the baby «new Horizons» – Mom can be «break» whims and whining.
«I will hear such a word again – Lish TV», «I will see such at least once – you will not receive anymore» and pr. No sense in these phrases, if you do not hold the word. The child will simply stop perceiving your threats seriously. The kid should clearly understand that for violation of certain rules should always be sentenced.

«Silent, I said!», «Shut your mouth», «Quickly sat down», «Take your hands off!» and pr. The child is not your dog that you can give a team, put on a muzzle and put on a chain. This is a person who needs to be respected. The consequence of such education is an equivalent attitude towards you in the future. On your request «come home early» You once hear – «backward», And on request «Bring the driver» – «Hold you». Rudeness will return rudeness in a square.
«Ah, found because of what to get upset!», «Enough suffer because of nonsense». What is nonsense for you, for a child – a real tragedy. Remember yourself in childhood. Having disappeared by this phrase from the child, you demonstrate your disregard for his problems.

«No money left! Do not buy». Of course, this phrase is the easiest way «bought off» from kid in the store. But from these words, the child will not understand that the 20th machine is superfluous, and the 5th chocolate will lead it to the dentist. The child will only understand that mom and dad – two practical people who never have money for anything. And if the money was – that would have bought the 20th machine and the 5th chocolate. And hence the envy of the children more «Successful» Parents and Pr. Be prudent – do not be lazy to explain and tell the truth.
«Stop writing!», «There are no monsters here!», «What nonsense you are» and pr. If the child shared with you with your fears (babaika in a closet, shadow on the ceiling), then such a phrase you are not only no calmness, but also undermining confidence in yourself. Then the child simply will not share with you with your experiences, because «Mom still does not believe, will not understand and will not help». Not to mention that «Unbearable» Children’s fears pass with a child through life, turning into phobias.

«What kind of bad boy are you!», «Fu, what a bad child», «Oh, you are dirty!», «Well, you and the trees!» and pr. Condemnation – the worst method of education. Avoid condemning words even in an enlightenment of anger.