Children’s manipulator tricks – what to do if the child manipulates parents?

How children manipulate parents? The most frequent tricks of the child manipulator – on Lady-Magazine.Com. What to do if the child manipulates adults how to understand the causes and solve problems

About children’s demonstrative hysteries Many mothers know no obstacle. Of course, we are not talking about situations when the kid is sick, upset or just missed parents. We are talking about small manipulators and what to do parents, «drunk in corner».

See also: Whims in children – how to deal with them?

The most favorite techniques of children-manipulators – with what the child manipulates adults?

Not all children tend to arrange hysterical manipulations. As a rule, only those children who accustomed to be the center of attention and get whatever you want on a saucer.

See also: How to raise an obedient child – 7 parents.

This hysterical is always grudge, and many parents forced to make a compromise or give up and give up and give up. Especially when it happens in public.

so, What form is usually manifested «terrorism» Little manipulators?

• Hyperactivity (not to be confused with hyperactivity caused by psychological reasons)
  The child turns into «reactive plane»: It climbs into each bedside table, flies around the apartment, everything rolls over, grows with legs, shouts, etc. In general, the more noise – the better. And even the mother’s shock is already attention. And then you can make requirements, because my mother will do everything, if only «Child is not planted» And calmed down.
• Demonstrative scattered and non-independence
  The child knows how to brush his teeth perfectly, combing, tie laces, collecting toys. But in front of his mother, he plays helpless crumb, it is rather not wanting to do anything or making it deliberately slowly. It is one of the most «Popular» manipulations, the cause of which – in the hyperop of parents.
• Soreness, injury
  Also a common children’s trick: Mom in horror looks at the thermometer heated on the battery, urgently stacked in bed, feeds with delicious jam and reads fairy tales, without departing «Okabolev» Karapuza. Either kisses a light scratch on the leg of the child and carries it 2 km in his arms, because «I can not go, hurts, legs are tired, etc.».
  To kid do not have to deceive you, give him more time. If the child feels that he loves, that he is important, then the need for such performances for him just disappears. The dangerous situation may be able to develop, if such performances are encouraged – one day the child can really put an injury to make attention to him.
  What to do? Immediately contact the doctor, barely child declares his illness or injury (do not frighten the doctors, but please call). Children doctors and injections do not like it, so «Sly plan» immediately opens. Either the disease will be detected and will be treated.
• Tears, hysteria
  Very effective method, especially if applied to the public. There, Mom will definitely not be able to deny anything, because the conviction of passersby will be afraid. So feel free to fall on the ground, knocking the legs, shout, swear «You do not love me!» and pr. If this situation is familiar to you, then – your child has already learned the rule that «Mom can be controlled using hysterical».
• «It’s not me to blame!»
  This is a cat, brother, neighbor, classmate, etc. Shifting guilt on another child trying to avoid punishment. In the future, it can deprive the child of his friends and elementary respect. Therefore, never shout and do not scold the child for the guesses and tricks. Let the baby be sure that you can confess all. Then the fear of him before the punishment. And after it is confessed, be sure to praise the child for his honesty and calmly explain why his right is not good.
• Aggression, irritability
  And all this in order to come true the desire about the next party of soap bubbles, another doll, ice cream in the middle of winter, etc.
  Do not pay attention to the behavior of your small manipulator, be adamant and calm. If «Spectators» do not react, then the actor will have to leave the scene and do something more useful.

Child’s manipulation is not just «Out of nerves» parents, it’s also Very serious negative installation for the future for a child. So learn to communicate with the child so that he does not have to resort to manipulation.

And if it already happened – eradicate immediately to manipulate did not turn into habit and lifestyle.

See also: Types of parental relationships with children – which one in your family?

What to do when the child manipulates parents – learn to tamper a small manipulator!

• The child first gave you tantrum in a public place?
  Ignore this hysteria. Go aside, demonstratively distracted by anything or distracted by something for him to forget about his hysterics. Yielding to manipulation once, you will be doomed to fight hysteries constantly.
• The child arranged hysterics at home?
  First of all, ask all relatives-«Spectators» Remove from the room, or go out with your child. Internally gather, count to 10, strictly, calmly and confidently explain to the child – why it is impossible to do as it requires. As if the child has shouted, neither hysterle – do not give in to provocations, do not retreat from your claim. Barely baby calm down, hug him, tell me how much you love him, and explain why this behavior is unacceptable. Tantrum repeated? Repeat the whole cycle again. Only when the kid will understand that the hysteria does not achieve anything, he will cease to use them.
• «I want, I want, I want ..»
  Famous reception of children to put pressure on the parent and do in its own way contrary to all. Stand on Pain. Yours «mantra» must be unchanged – «first lessons, then computer» or «first remove toys, then swing».
  If the child continues to put on you with hysterics or other methods of manipulation, and you have been punished with a computer for 3 days in punishment – hold on these 3 days, no matter what. If you surrender – consider that «battle» Loigrana. The child should know that your word and position – iron.
• Little lies «in salvation»
  Support a confidence relationship with the child. The child must trust you by 100 percent, the child should not be afraid of you. Only then a small and large lies of the child (for any purpose) will bypass you.
• Behavior called Mama
  Demonstrately untrained toys, ignoring your requests, later return home at your request «be in 8!» and pr. So the child expresses his protest and shows that he is in this «Battle» overlooked. Do not shout, do not shout, do not swear – it is useless. Start from talking to souls. Did not help – turn on the restrictions on the phone, computer, walks, etc. Wasy again? Change the communication method with the child: Make it with a new hobby, find a lesson for interest, spend the maximum time with him. Look for an approach to your child, cutting off the whip and gingerbread method in favor of a constructive dialogue and compromise.
• «Give me a computer! I will not do lessons! I will not wash it out! I want a computer, and all!»
  The situation is probably familiar to many (in different variations, but for modern children, alas, it becomes very frequent). What to do? Be cunning. Let the child play it, and at night calmly take the equipment and hide (give it to storage neighbors). Then tell the child that the computer broke, and he had to be taken to repair. Repair, as you know, lasts for a very long time. And during this time you can have time to switch the child’s attention to more real classes.
• The baby invites you and the neighbors with shouts, sucks with legs, rides on the floor and moves toys?
  Take it on the handles, open the window and together with the baby, drive out to the street of these bottom «Caprisians». The baby will like the game, and the hysteria will be held. Distract from the tantrum kid much easier than a teenager. And precisely at this age it is necessary to fix the truth in the child – «Caprics and hysteries do not achieve anything».
• Game on the feelings of parents or emotional blackmail
  Usually this applies to adolescents. The teenager shows with all his appearance that if mom (dad) does not fulfill his demands, then the teenager will be bad, sad, hurt and in general «life ended, no one understands me, I don’t need anyone here». Check out the question – will your child become happier if you go for concessions? And whether it will not be in the habit of your child? And do not affect your concessions on the formation of a child, like a member of society? Your task is to convey to a child that life is not only «want», but also «necessary». What always has something to do something, in something to look for a compromise, to put up with something. And the sooner this child will understand, the easier it will be adapting to adulthood.
• «You destroy my life!», «I make no sense to live when you do not understand me!» – this is more serious blackmail, and it cannot be ignored
  If a child rushes with such words, because you did not let him down on a shop in the yard to friends and forced to do lessons – stand on her. First lessons, then friends. If the situation is really serious, let the teenager do how he wants. Give him freedom. And be near (psychologically) to keep it supported when he will «fall». Sometimes it is easier to give a child to make a mistake than to prove to him that he is wrong.
• The child demonstratively removes
  Contact does not go, it does not want to talk, closes in the room, etc. This is also one of the children’s manipulation strategies requiring decisions. First of all, set the cause of such a child’s behavior. It is possible that the situation is more serious than you think. If there is no serious reason, and the child simply uses such a method «Press», Give him the opportunity «ignore» you are exactly so much as long as his patience. Demonstrate that no emotions, tricks and manipulations cancel the duties of the child – to remove them, wash, make lessons, come on time, etc.

Parents’ errors in communicating with children-manipulators – what can not be done and talk?

• Do not launch the situation. Teach the child to negotiate and search for a compromise, do not get his manipulative behavior.
• Do not blame yourself for «rigidity», When the child flies in the middle of the street, without receiving another batch machine. This is not cruelty – this is part of the educational process.
• Do not swear, do not shout, and in no case do not use physical strength – no slaps, poddle vehicles and screams «Well, I’m sppy to you!». Calm and confidence – your main educational tools in this situation.
  If the hysteria is repeated, it means that persuasions do not act – show rigidity. The moment of truth is not always pleasant, and the baby should understand it and remember.
• Do not read long lectures on «Good and bad». Firmly declare its position, clearly formulate the reason for the refusal in the child’s requirement and hold the selected path.
• Do not allow the situation when a child falls asleep after a quarrel, and without recovering with you. Go to bed and go to school the child must be in a state of absolute calm and awareness that his mother loves him, and everything is fine.
• Do not demand from the child what they yourself are not able to do. If you smoke – do not demand a teenager to quit smoking. If you do not particularly like to clean up, do not require a child to remove toys. Teach Choo on your example.
• Do not limit the child in everything and all. Provide him at least a little freedom of choice. For example, what a blouse he wants to wear, what a garnish wants for lunch where he wants to go, and.
• Do not let the child ignore your own needs. Take it to reckon with your needs and desires. And with the desires of the child, too, try to reckon.

And most importantly – do not ignore the child. After the incident is exhausted, necessarily kiss a child and hug. Designating the borders of the behavior for the child, do not give away from it!

Have you had to look for an approach to the baby manipulator? Share your parental experience in the comments below!