How not to get tied to people – get rid of psychological dependence
Sympathy and addiction, thin line between them. How to distinguish love from obsession. How to get rid of the fanatical sense of dependence, and how to stop tied to people
Often, entering women’s sites and psychological forums, you can see a discussion with the topic – «What to do and how to be if i’m too quickly tied to people?». Many wonder: «Why attachment is a problem and why it is necessary to get rid of it, if this feeling sincere in relation to another person?».
The answer lies in the approach to the concept of affection. Sympathize with another person, a good friend, relative, this is normal, but to stick to them, as if «Bath sheet» it is not necessary, especially becoming dependent on them, to upset when there is no, worry about them to the state of the strongest stress. To understand how not to be attached to people, it is necessary to figure out what healthy and unhealthy affection and addiction to another person, how to distinguish them and stop.
Sympathy and addiction
When one person shows sympathy for another, this is normal, such a feeling is characteristic of everyone who loves and love. Anyone in his life by someone values, trusts him, loves. After all, the feeling of invisible communication and proximity is the foundation for the preservation of all relations in the family, the circle of friends and here a sense of attachment is the norm. This feeling means the desire to be close to whom you love. Strong sympathy appears in spiritual proximity, mutual understanding, trust, harmony of shower with other people.
However, sympathy can grow quickly into something more, the feeling of complete dependence on another person, it is also called painful. It manifests itself in the fact that a person can not live without the object of his adoration not the day, all the time he thinks about him, does not imagine the meaning of life without him, he needs to see, hear, speaking with the object constantly, every day.
Life begins to change, strong obsession comes, the feeling of painful affection only increases. Longing and pain appear if the object of passion can not pay much time.
With such psychological obsession, it is necessary to fight, and even connect a competent psychologist. Some people can say that such a psychological «slavery» may arise if a person is in love with another person, however, such arguments are great delusion. Love and attachment are very different from each other. What is still done if you are attached to a person how to distinguish love from psychological interactions as «Disturb»?
Feeling of love or still addiction how to distinguish them?
Sympathy and painful state of psychological dependence differ from each other. The difference is that sympathy goes into love, and a dependent state in strong obsession, even fanaticism or in hatred for a former passion object. Both of these states can destroy the psyche, affect its functionality, so they must be treated to get rid of them. Someone can do it quickly, others suffer and do not know what to do. How to learn not to be attached to people how to distinguish love from psychological exploitation?
To begin with, it is necessary to clearly understand that love is a bright feeling, it gives it more than getting in return, it is not angry, knows how to forgive. But emotional obsession is another condition. Here a person is selfish, looked more on himself and his desires, emotions. He constantly wants the object to be near and fulfill all his whims and wishes. And so that the goal has been achieved, he begins to unceremoniously invade the personal life and the space of another, suits the scenes with the hysteries, jealousy, follows, takes attention to his person.
Love is developing and growing, but the passion of such adoration does not change, the relationship is gradually destroyed, slowly or quickly, everything will depend on other concomitant life circumstances. How to stop tied to people in this case, where should be started to act?
How to deal with psychological obsession
When a person has a strong emotional binding, the construction of normal friendly or love relationships will not work. For these feelings, a completely different approach is needed.
First there is a favor, then confidence appears, an understanding of the needs of another and the ability to normally perceive the right of the facility of goodburn on personal life and space. How then to get out of the person to whom he was strongly attached? If fanaticism appears in relation to the other, then the first thing to do is to put yourself in his place.
Think whether you will be pleased if your life will also start unceremoniously invade and demand unnecessary attention. You can easily get out of facility.
To do this, you must adhere to the following advice of psychologists:
- Self-sufficiency. To do this, you must constantly do personal and spiritual development. It is important to understand that people loaning on their emotions and requiring increased attention, not interesting to anyone;
- Self-dedication in relations. She is always in friendship and love;
- Getting rid of insurance. Get rid of fear that without your control over the situation will certainly betray, deceived. No one is insured from this, but it is not necessary to be afraid of this, and if such circumstances come, then life thus presents a lesson from which you can learn useful experience. It will make you better understand people, and the one who betrayed, just not clear attention and should not keep him in his surroundings;
- Do not live past and inflate the future. There must be a concentration only at positive moments in life, it is necessary to live here and now. If this love is not worth noting it with jealousy, hysteries, suspicion, compare with the experience of the past. We must live and rejoice every day;
- Skill to tell yourself a stop. If the relationship of friendship or love is beginning to move into something obsessed, you need to be able to talk to yourself. It is worthwhile asking – what I really want and waiting for this person? Whether he is important, as a person or matters only his attention to me? Do I need a serious relationship or just I get rid of boredom? If you find answers to these questions, then the person who you are so tremendous belong will be just a good friend or the second half;
- New hobby. Find a new passion or occupation. It can be a sport, hobby, meditation. When the head is engaged in other thoughts, then strong emotions will catch and gradually come to no.
The painful feeling of hobbies someone is a kind of humiliation, dependence on actions and words of its object. And every time, being rejected, you will experience a strong stress.
Think about whether it is worth spending your life given to us just once. After all, happiness from such relationships you will never experience. Unhappy people are unsuccessful and unattractive. It is better to gain strength, completely release the destroying feelings, get rid of egoism and start everything first, take a step towards real love, friendship and freedom. Love yourself and respect, proud of who you are, and then everything will fall into place.
People will begin to perceive you, as a real person, and sincerely pull them out to you. In this case, you will not need to bind anyone to yourself and make life more difficult.
