What is forgiveness and how to learn to forgive insults?
It is necessary to forgive, and how to forgive man? Read on Lady-Magazine.com, how to learn to forgive people. Find out why you need to forgive and what is for forgiveness. How to be able to forgive – read the advice of psychologists
Each of us probably knows the answer to the rhetorical question, why should I forgive. Of course, to get rid of the offense and reset the load of negative from the shoulders, become happier, to return the success. The opinion that a forgiving person is actually a weak, incorrectly in the root, only a strong and self-sufficient person is subject to the art of forgiveness.
See also: Words and actions that do not forgive even his beloved person.
So how to become strong to each of us, how to learn to forgive and let all offenses?
What is for forgiveness and why you need to forgive?
Many people think to forgive – it means to forget, throw out of life. But this is an incorrect misconception that prevents understanding the most important thing in this issue – why need to take offense inflicted by another person.
What is for forgiveness?
Philosophy explains that forgiveness is Full refusal to take revenge your offender. Forgiveness has a wider sense, it includes the understanding of the person who has arisen.
Do I need to take revenge your offender?
Most people in a situation where they experienced the whole pain from the resentment, a large or small desire to revenge this person appears. But it becomes easier from what you reven?
Maybe after the observation of his offense at the beginning and there is a sense of satisfaction, but then another feeling appears – naughty, resentment for itself. The revengent automatically becomes the same level with his offender and dumps in the same dirt.
Why do you need to forgive?
Psychologists claim that you need to learn to forgive any offender – No matter, you will continue to cross it in life, or not.
Amazing observations of psychologists say that in fact, Forgiveness must not be offended – It doesn’t matter, this is a close man, or quite someone else – namely to you. The obsolete person does not have more stresses and experiences, he is able to let the resentment, who understood those who inflicted them.
If not forgive, man continues to continue to worry, which only turn new and new experiences, becoming the main reason for failure in life. Resentment is able to grow into hatred, which will pretend the eyes and prevents to be just happy.
How to learn to forgive insults and how to forgive the offender?
Resentment is an unproductive feeling, from which you need to learn to get rid of. I must say that the ability to forgive is a whole art requiring tremendous work on oneself, Costs of a large number of spiritual resources.
Psychologists argue that to work out the ability to forgive on average, it is necessary to work on 50 offensive situations in their lives.
There are certain stages of mastering this science – the ability to forgive:
- Awareness of the very feeling of resentment
A man who worried his insult must admit that it exists that he is ready to work with her and in the end to eliminate. Many people who wish to get rid of the resentment people, but do not know how to do it, at this stage they simply do not want to admit to themselves that they have a grudge, driving her deep into the subconscious, where she starts to slowly destroy positive. - To work to eradicate offenses must be prepared
The Council of Psychologists – after awareness of the resentment, a person must solidize working with her. Work to eliminate their resentment a person must pay at least twenty minutes a day. This work must be perceived as an important training. - Lose offense in detail
You must imagine a newly offensive situation in detail that happened. Remember how your offender looked like that he told you how he was led. Try to imagine what feelings the offender was experiencing, what thoughts had about you. Psychologists advise at the beginning to remember all the details of the situation, and then write in detail on a sheet of paper. For such work it is better to lead The Diary, which will then help assess the effectiveness of working on oneself. - Reply to the following questions as a lawyer and as a prosecutor (2 answers to the question)
- Whether his expectations were realistic, because later they did not come true?
- This man knew about his expectations, he agreed with them?
- Does not be contrary to the expected behavior of his personal convictions?
- Why this man did so and not otherwise?
- Do you need to punish this person for the deed?
Responding to these questions, Write down your answers. Put the pluses from those answers that reflect the true state of offended person. Calculate the pros and cons – when understanding the situation and the ability to forgive the resent of the advantages should be more from those answers that were from the face of a lawyer.
Learn to look at the situation that happened not from my position, but from the standpoint of a third-party observer. If the insult is overlapping you, try to imagine your life and follows – the scale of this resentment in comparison with the first.
You will see two volumes – The huge universe is your life, and the little grazing in it, that is, the offense. Is it necessary to spend time of your life for the experience of this sand?
What is the point in this work – learning oneself to forgive?
The main meaning of learning itself to forgive – translate the experiencing data from the field of emotions and feelings in the region of logic, understanding. Emotions always elude, they arise and disappear spontaneously. And you can only work with what can be explained that it is clear.
If you have experienced betrayal, treason or very strong offense, then maybe you can not cope with this work, and you It is necessary to apply for the help of a professional psychologist.