Why men pull children. The man - an egoist? The ideal paternity agree to prevent child? My husband does not want a second child - what are the reasons?
Why do people get married? Many say they want to live in a family, to feel loved and care for a partner. But with time comes the feeling that happiness is not enough for children. It is believed that the birth and education of children - the main raison d'être of marriage and family. But sometimes one spouse decides on its own - children will not. How to understand why her husband does not want a child?
Having children means to be a mature person
Age did not give the notion mature if a person's position in life. Infantilism, or children's perception, inherent in many men, it does not matter, it is a student or a pensioner.
As a child, such a person wants to receive onlyenjoyment of life and pleasure in the relationship with his wife - one of the greatest pleasures for men. Sometimes the internal desire to give love and care so deeply hidden under the bright dreams and a desire to live for himself, that a man may decide never to have children.
This position is in our time has created the movement "childfree", which originally was to draw attention to the problem of overpopulation of the planet.
But now, free from ideological children are ready to proclaim himself many men who really care about the demographic crisis.
Should I wait for the sea weather
A woman with her husband no ideological reason to waitmore than two years. It is necessary to evaluate their behavior, and as if from outside. Is it enough to calm the situation in the house? Do you deal with women's responsibilities at home? How do you feel about the family?
This may seem silly, but men oftenI refuse to have a baby, watching his wife and subconsciously making a conclusion, what will be life after birth. Any man is clear that the appearance of the house infant complicates the life of the mother and strains all forces.
If her husband did not want children, then maybe he thinks that such stress is too strong for the family, he will not go for it.
Biology men do not customize it with the birthbaby, its ability to beget children is not limited, and the doctors did not insist on his paternity in a short period of between 20 and 30 years. Therefore, a man can afford to delay making a decision to postpone the issue for the future and to explain in a few sentences that he is not ready to be a father.
Selfishness and fatherhood are not compatible
How often do men hide behind the lack of money,to explain their reluctance to have a child! Of course, the literal poverty - not a time when there is a cause born child. Costs for doctor examinations, childbirth, and newborn layette for improved maternal nutrition - one unemployment benefit can not do here. Sometimes a man all the same rights, but it is necessary to ask him when he is going to turn its financial situation, so that the family could expect to have offspring?
Why did her husband not to have children, if it is capable ofprovide? More often talk about how little money and how much they should be on the kid go from pure selfishness. Some are not willing to give up an annual holiday abroad for the sake of their future child.
Someone saving up for a car or going firstcountry house to finish, and material goals back down the appearance of children, because protected from pregnancy so easy, especially if his wife dutifully takes the pill.
Egoist does not think women make poor riskor the patient's heir, he is not interested, when his wife would be the best time in life to pregnancy and childbirth. The man is engaged in self-complacency, assuring himself that the birth of children - this is the case for women, which can not penetrate.
The task he sees only to"Get on their feet," even if it takes ten or fifteen or twenty years. Why suppress the selfish desire of his wife to give birth to his child? He believes that everything in this world has to depend on his decisions and obey his plans.
The treatment of the alien ego does not exist, however,wife can at least do not go on about her husband, pulling away from his premiums, buildings, travel and other things. It is important that the husband felt he alone in his selfish dreams. A woman should be adjusted to family values more than material.
Everything must be perfect, or, in any way, or
Black-and-white thinking men are affected more often than women. Or you'll be perfect parents, or will not do. How do you know such a person, and to convey to him the meaning of the birth of children?
Such a person can not make their imperfections and others also asked for the full program.
From this man can hear something like: "but where we still have a baby," or "I can give to your children?"
But the motivation to give all the best, preventing life - the same escape from problems, that of the egoist or infantile men.
Rare to find this perfectionist,which is demanding and energetic, perfectly fulfills the obligations and good in everything, for what is taken. He who justifies the lack of well-being childless or its unsuitable character, just trying to cheat.
Half of the truth, he bravely puts his wife -they say, is not ready, is not worthy, I can not. The other half is that psevdoperfektsionist does not make any effort to improve and have a baby. Such cheaters need to expose and explain that all parents in something worse, but something better, and that is no reason to fool your head.
Why husband does not want a second child? Oddly enough, but the cycle is repeated - again interferes with the fear of responsibility, and begin the old excuse: not enough money, living space does not permit, not the age (too young or old), a lot of problems and without a second baby. And again, like the first time, you need to be patient and in every way to maintain an atmosphere of love and peace in the house.
Man can quite agree on rational arguments, for example:
- Jr. wears clothes and toys see out older, and therefore the costs would not be so much;
- children of the same sex tend to live in one room;
- age is important for the mother, but not his father;
- the child needed a brother or sister (the strongest argument).
The second time, to persuade her husband to the son or daughter will be easier, as his experience of fatherhood was smooth half fears and anxieties.