How to get rid of the feeling of love that brings suffering? What prevents you from ending your obsession with passion? How to forget your first love? How to distinguish true love from obsession
Romantic in love sometimes turns aroundDependence. When it comes to an undivided feeling, you can depend on the man for a long time and secretly, thinking that you can not change anything. How to get rid of illusory love? Why do women for years wear a feeling of a sick passion and can not get out of its chains?
The problem is that, despiteObjective reality, you fantasize that only this single man can satisfy your need for love and happiness. Perhaps you say to yourself: "If only we were together, everything would be fine, nothing else would matter".
But if the desire to shake off the fetters of illusion has reached its apogee, begin to act! We have prepared 10 effective tips for you, how to get rid of unnecessary love.
Stop the relationship now, if you have not already leftOf them, do it first. No matter what you feel - exhaustion or still enthusiasm - abandon the disastrous idea that perseverance (and frankly, obsession) can achieve his love. The technique of the conqueror in your case will bear bitter fruit. In fact, now chasing a man will only aggravate your suffering.
Throw away his photos. You need to get rid of any sentimental memories or letters that remind you of him. You must part with the things that nourish your obsessions. This is also the best way how to stop suffering from the first love. If you spend time fueling thoughts about it - guess what? You will feel unhappy for a very, very long time.
That's why, as soon as you realized that a certainThe thing with its own appearance causes a surge of emotions and brings you back to the past, you have to try your best to remove this source of trouble from yourself. Whatever you think, these objects will always be just a crochet, sitting on which, you sink into your love more and more.
Instead, when memories flooded,Catch this signal and remove the thing from your environment - IMMEDIATELY! Delete the phone number, delete photos and gifts. It's not about destroying them, just hide them where they will not come across your eyes every day. However, if you feel the need to break, tear, burn or throw them in the trash - do this too.
Stop reading his Facebook page,Classmates or twitter. Viewing his photos or reading new statuses will only prolong your obsession. Do not pass by his house, do not call him, silently hanging up. Stop this behavior. No matter how hard it seems at first glance, it gets easier every time, the more you do it.
Ask yourself if your fantasies are interfering with yourDaily life and responsibilities. Dreaminess and fantasy is dangerous if you are busy with it while driving, on the way on a busy street, and also if it interferes with your other relationships or work.
To get rid of sick love more quickly,Concentrate on what you are doing at this very moment. Do this as if you are listening attentively to your actions - this is concentration in its pure form.
Distract, as soon as you feel that thoughtsRushed in his direction. Go away from home and go for a walk, call a friend or turn on the film. Immediately do something to change the course of the obsession, as soon as you feel like it is a victim.
Visit a psychologist. A woman-dependent woman desperately seeks approval and emotional support in a man, and often this may be the result of a childhood trauma or some negative event in the past.
You long for a relationship with someone who, in yourYou can heal these wounds and make you happy. And you become addicted, because you believe that such a relationship will give you security and long-awaited peace. Talking with a psychologist will help to set the right direction for this desire and cope with the problem.
Increase self-esteem. In women, after a hard relationship, self-esteem is very bad. Spend a little time to fix this and find positive qualities in yourself.
Apply affirmations to form a new attitude towards yourself in a healthy and reasonable way. Below is a list of positive statements - use it as a tool.
10 affirmations for raising self-esteem
- I am an attractive woman and an integral person;
- I accept and love myself completely;
- I am a talented and worthy person;
- There is enough inner happiness in me;
- I am worthy of true love, abundance and peace;
- I will allow myself to find joy and peace in life;
- I can think for myself;
- I trust my intuition, reason and conscience;
- I deserve to have a happy marriage and family;
- I act for the benefit of people close to me.
Repeat these statements 10-20 times a day calmly and out loud (the voice works better than reading). You can also add or replace affirmations in your personal list.
Use all the methods of lifting known to youSelf-evaluation. Develop, discover an unexpected talent and do something creative. Focus on caring for yourself through proper nutrition, exercise and sleep patterns. Do away with sleep deprivation.
Urgently learn to control the course of your thoughts. To get rid of obsessive love, you have to go through the heartbreaking period of forgetting, but you can do it!
You will come across several times a dayThere will be times when, out of habit, you want to share with the former something new or share some small joy. When this happens, allow yourself to go with the flow, but control the process.
Allow yourself 10 to 15 minutes to loseIn the head of the phrase that you were going to tell him, but then make yourself stop. VIOLENT. Tell yourself that you will have time to think about this later, and now find a case that will distract you right now.
Ask a friend or relative to stay close toYou, as long as you need support. Ideally, it should be someone who knows that you are experiencing the anguish of abandoning unnecessary love. Tell us why you have these difficulties and ask for honest opinion in return. Be prepared, that this answer can humiliate your feelings, but this is the most useful part of support in the fight against obsessive love.
Be careful not to get hooked on such support, do not turn it into daily emotional outpourings.
Register with a charitable organization. In each district there are non-profit organizations that provide assistance to the needy. Give it one day a week or just an hour after work, when you are particularly lonely. If your pain point is a lonely weekend, instead of dwelling on your sufferings, go away from home and leave to bring real benefits to people.
Start work in the field of charityIt is difficult - it is necessary to overcome inertia, disbelief in the usefulness of such work and simple awkwardness. But, having got involved in the process and having mastered, you will fill life with such meaning, which magically cures both loneliness, broken heart, and depression.
How to distinguish love from obsession?
So, you learned how to get rid of the feelings of love that ruined your life, but first you must sincerely admit that this obsessive passion distorts your ideas about the true feeling:
- True love is pleasant and joyful, while a painful love and obsession overwhelms and destroys life;
- True love allows you to see a real person, but what you took for love, makes you see an ideal that does not exist, and think, you have found perfection and the source of pleasure;
- Love gradually leads to the creation of a strong family and warm relations, and obsession creates a strong feeling, because of which you are already ready for anything today;
- When you love, you calmly withdraw when you are obsessed with passion-persecuted and exhausted.
Think about this more often. This is a good way to speed up the healing process of an amorous wound.