What kind of protection must husbands give. The husband-getter is how? Who raises children in the family - mother, father or together? Duties of the husband in the family - what can be demanded, and what can we only hope for
The keeper of coziness and warmth, wife, mother,Mistress, home healer and universal assistant - a woman in the family has so many roles that you can get lost. At the same time, she has a lot of responsibilities on her shoulders, for which the important and predominant role of the man is somehow imperceptibly lost. But meanwhile, do not forget, the old saying - the wife's husband is good.
What, in fact, is the husband's duty to his wife?
Why is it important for a man to be a defender?
The time passed when the fathers of the families literally protected the household from various dangers, often with arms in their hands, on the threshold, in order not to let the robbers and scoundrels enter.
Today, the average man does not carry arms,Feels a more or less working system of state protection against crime, so that in practice it is not necessary to show courage and ability to defend one's home and the lives of loved ones.
What then is his duty today to protect the family and have our modern men lost this sense of duty because of the relative calm in society?
First of all, a man should still be readyPhysically stand up for their spouse, her honor and tranquility, and, if necessary, life and health. Physical fitness and self-defense skills will never interfere, but this is not the main thing. Any woman appreciates courage and determination.
It is unlikely that there will be one who wants to see herHusband in a fight, but if she witnesses his cowardice or irresponsibility, this behavior will leave a feeling for a long time, as if her life passes not behind the stone walls, but behind the straw fence. We women have the right to demand from the beloved evidence of their strength and willingness to stand up for their family and home.
The protection that a man gives to a family is not expressedOnly in physical ability and moral readiness, but also in a completely different, civil way. Protection by official marriage is of great importance for a relaxed atmosphere in the family.
The legal binding of marriage ties speaks ofReliability of the satellite, his desire to be responsible, about the maturity of actions and judgments. No offense to those who live in a civil marriage, but to say that an unmarried wife with a roommate feels full protection - an exaggeration.
Even if there is no direct need for a stamp,Back thoughts of a woman will appear, while state marriage (although it does not promise family happiness) guarantees women and children basic rights. Therefore, men should strive to register a marriage - this is one of the most important duties of the husband.
Who will get the benefits for the family
Even if you are inclined to equality inAnd concern to those families where the wife earns and brings to the house the lion's share of material goods, think: do you deprive your spouse of the opportunity to perform well your duties to you and your children?
Now the world is changing values: Communication skills, commercial vein, the ability to negotiate and other qualities inherent in a larger volume of women are valued higher than masculine.
Few people now reproach the young man with the fact that,That he is not concerned about stocks in the pantry and does not try to build a house for the family. Girlfriends and spouses willingly take on the extraction of funds and thus give the opportunity for men to develop, to find their niche in society, to open up in their favorite business, to acquire new knowledge and to experiment in affairs.
It can not be said that this is the reason for today'sIrresponsibility of the stronger sex, but still this freedom leads away from the man's conscious need to be the support and reliable foundation of his family.
Ideally, the spouse should not worry about the fact,Where should she get food for dinner or how to manage this year without debts. Its role is a sustainable management, the ability to save money earned by the husband, to spend minimum food, not to involve the family in unbearable waste.
A good husband provides the family with a minimum:
- Own or paid advance housing and utilities;
- Savings for a rainy day;
- Food stocks for about a month;
- Clothes and shoes, medicines;
- Payment of tuition for children and qualified care for patients and the elderly, and on both sides of the spouses.
Other expenses from the category of new-fashioned householdEquipment and electronics, trips to resorts and abroad, luxury furniture and other - this is already possible. Require them from her husband - in excess of expectations, but if it turns out, it's fine.
Another thing is that to encourage her husband spending, when notFirst needs are provided - not only unreasonable, but also dangerous. If it happens, the man quickly becomes sober and will understand that he was always on the desires, his own and his wife, did not fulfill his main duties and brought his relatives who had counted on him. In this connection, the ability of husband and father to reasonably limit the excessive desires and ambitions of the spouse and children is at the forefront.
The duties of husband and wife in the upbringing of children
We will not idealize the male sex and honestlyRecognize that the education of children is given to them oh how difficult. And yet you need to involve your husband in this process! How to do it correctly and where the boundaries lie, for which the papa is shy away from caring for children?
It happens that the father of the soul does not chajet in the child withHis very appearance in the world, delves into all the nuances, deftly changes diapers, warms the mixture in a bottle. Then he carefully dresses and takes the kid to the kindergarten, is interested in the student's grades, gets sick at the competitions and continues indefinitely.
But most often it turns out that no specialSympathy for a strange creature in diapers - shriveled screaming newborn - the father clearly does not feel. God forbid, he sees in him a competitor for love. Is it necessary to handle such a daddy, inspiring him that his responsibilities include taking care of the baby?
You can stay with your opinion, but the classicFamily relations is the involvement of the father in the upbringing of children at the age of 3-4. This is due to the fact that the natural father role is to be a restrictor and transfer knowledge and wisdom to your offspring.
Therefore, while the child is too small to have somethingListen and perform, you do not need to upset the easy detachment of the pope from the upbringing process. This is normal. A man in this period should be focused on ensuring peace, comfort, and prosperity of a young mother and child. He will educate a little more intelligent creature who recognizes his authority and understands speech.
But we will notice that there are situations when motherJust physically can not fully take care of the baby (was sick, overdone, I must go to the hospital). A real man will not be afraid of the temporary prospect of being a nanny to his own child. Therefore, it is necessary to teach him the basics of nursing. And to demand to carry out daily actions simply so, from a principle of equality - it is not necessary.
What you can expect, but you can not demand
We do not mention in this article suchResponsibilities, how to respect and love your spouse, to make her happy, to constantly explore her inner world and maintain spiritually are important duties of her husband in the family, but they are related to the moral sphere of relationships.
This plane is very difficult to understand andPerformance and strongly depends on the qualities of character, education and level of development of the personality of each particular man. Naturally, you expect respect from your man, otherwise you would not become his wife. It's also normal to demand attention and communication, otherwise your personal union is doomed to failure.
To show the best spiritual qualities - a dutyEach member of the family in relation to relatives. But it is not easy to regulate them: the vague concepts of love of each of the spouses, the inability to express expectations in words, the inability to translate conflicts into constructive channels interfere. But the above requirements to her husband - material, measurable, understandable and acceptable, they simply explain and present in case of what.
Discuss their implementation before the marriage, atStage when you plan a joint life. And if in violation of the vow of strong love can only be censured rhetorically, then the lack of products in the refrigerator or the unwillingness to register a marriage is a direct and concrete question by the edge.
So, if you want to have a wonderful relationship with your spouse - learn to bind it with love, so that he himself feels like a real man and an excellent family man!